Still The Same
by Psicygni
Summary: Jim thinks that if he's going to be stuck in an alternate universe with anyone, Uhura isn't a bad choice. It would, though, be nice if she liked him a bit more.
1. Chapter 1

_Written for the 2014 Star Trek Friendshipfest over at AO3_

* * *

At first, Jim can't quite pinpoint what exactly is different. It starts with some sort of shimmer, like all around him he's looking through air that is suddenly wavy and rippling, but then that's gone and nothing in particular is unusual, despite a prickling at the back of his neck that makes him sit up and take notice.

But Spacedock looks the same outside of his overly large windows in his overly large new Captain's quarters, and his half unpacked duffel is still on his overly large bed and his towel is still hanging on the door to what is – for a starship – an overly large bathroom. Not that he's complaining about that one, since if he'd known a captaincy came with a water shower, he might have told Pike two years instead of three.

He glances around once more, trying to find anything that would explain what just happened before deciding that the most Bones is probably right that he's just plain exhausted. Or maybe just that he's losing it. Which, he thinks as he resumes what he was doing, namely staring at the wall wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into, wasn't too unlikely of a possibility.

He's slipping back into his rumination of exactly what he's going to do for a first officer now that Spock has resigned his commission in the wake of All Things Nero when there's a chime at the door to his quarters.

"Enter," he calls, turning from the windows to find Chekov standing there and Jim thinks that the fall out of trying to put any semblance of normalcy back in place has dampened even the Ensign's normal enthusiasm.

"Sir, Engineering reports that the starboard isolinear phase actuator is malfunctioning. Comms and transporter capabilities are down," Chekov reports breathlessly and Jim wonders if Scotty didn't send him running up here to tell him that.

"Again?" Jim sighs. Having no comms and no transporters isn't a big deal while at Spacedock, but that feeling of having such key systems inoperational reminds him too much of dropping out of warp into a graveyard.

"Again? No, sir, they were working this morning, but one of the fuses blew, and-"

"No, I meant…" Jim just waves his hand in a vague gesture before realizing that probably isn't very captainly. Not that he exactly knows how to be captainly what with being able to count the days he's held the position on two hands. "Do Mr. Scott and Keenser have everything they need or do we need to request help from Spacedock's maintenance crew?"

Getting Scotty and Keenser assigned to the ship had taken some finagling, what with Archer's rampant dislike of the man, but it had been worth it the headache. Like Jim, Scotty was just learning the ship and it was refreshing to have one part of his job that he could do with someone as inexperienced as he is and as willing to learn. The three of them had spent more than one late night pouring over blueprints and crawling through Jeffries tubes, the mindless memorization of systems and diagrams so comforting after three years of schooling at the Academy that it is one of the few things Jim feels he actually has a handle on.

"Keenser, sir?"

"Ensign Keenser, you've met him, right?"

Jim could have sworn that Chekov and Keenser had both been in the mess the other night, and with such a skeleton crew refitting the ship after the combination of the Narada and the Alpha Quadrant's newest worm hole did their best to rip it apart, it was hard to miss anyone. But, it was just as likely that after falling nearly to his death from a drill, being pummeled by Romulans multiple times, chased by no less than two reptilian monsters, shot up with various vaccines by Bones, and choked by his normally rather stuffy former-acting-captain-turned-first-officer, and then handed the reins of the _Enterprise_, his memory might be less than reliable.

"No, sir," Chekov says, slowly shaking his head. "Here is Mr. Scott's report on the incident."

Scotty has never struck Jim as a particularly report oriented individual, but he figures that maybe the new responsibilities are changing the man. God knows Jim has filed more reports and filled out more paperwork than he ever would have guessed came with the job.

He holds out his hand to take it and can't help but frown at the bulky, boxy padd Chekov gives him.

"New padds?"

"No, sir, those are the same as ever."

"Really?" Jim asks, turning it over in his hands and running his fingers along the gray plastic casing. "It's so… big."

Chekov takes a careful step closer. "Are you feeling well, sir?"

Jim lets out a sound that's somewhere between a sigh and a neurotic laugh. "Well, long week, right?"

"You were on leave," Chekov says and Jim laughs again.

"I wouldn't exactly call that leave, Ensign," he corrects, thinking back to the debriefings, the funerals, the ceremonies, the crash course in suddenly being a captain that Pike had given from a hospital bed.

"You did not go back home to Iowa."

"Wouldn't exactly call that home, either," Jim says lightly and Chekov doesn't push the topic Jim has spent the last three years evading.

He's still examining the strange padd and it feels so heavy and oversized in his hands that it takes him a long moment to look back up at Chekov. When he does, and truly takes the time to study him, his first thought is that the ensign looks older, so much of his exuberant youth gone. He's quiet and contained in a way that Jim's never seen him and while he can still see a bit of that excited teenager in there somewhere, Jim can't help but think that Nero's attack aged Chekov as much as it did anyone.

"You doing all right?"

"Very well, sir," Chekov answers and his tone is chipper again, so that Jim smiles and dismisses him. It isn't until he's trying to scroll through the padd with it's antiquated interface that it occurs to him what an incredibly strange answer that was for the ensign to have given, considering everything that's happened.

Still, strange padds that could have belonged to his grandfather Tiberius aside, Jim is so exhausted and so busy mulling over who could possibly replace Spock that it's well past dinner time when he realizes his stomach has been steadily growling for a half hour. Imagining Bones' response to finding out Jim has been skipping meals makes him smile until he remembers that Bones is elbow deep in injured survivors still being shuttled back to Earth from the wreckage above Vulcan. Or what was Vulcan, Jim think, scrubbing a hand over his face. And more and more often in the last few days it hasn't even been survivors but just bodies, and the air of desperation of those checking the list of names of those who have been found has begun to shift to a dull resignation.

It's hard to think about, and harder to swallow, and more than once this week Jim has tried to fill up the hollow feeling in his stomach with food.

He gets halfway to the door, intending to hit the mess hall for some dinner and probably head down to Engineering afterwards to have a word with Scotty about how repairs are coming, when the door chimes again.

"Enter," he calls for the second time.

It isn't every day a beautiful blonde walks into his quarters with a tray of food that smells _fabulous_ and Jim has to blink more than once at both the woman carrying it and the little curls of steam rising up from what he is pretty sure is a steak. A real steak, not the replicated rubbery cardboard that the Academy mess serves, but a steak from a cow.

He swallows hard, his mouth suddenly watering.

"Your dinner, Captain," the woman smiles. She sets it on his desk next to the funny looking padd and steps back from it. "Anything else for you, sir?"

"I, uh, no," he says. "I wasn't aware that…"

He waves at her, and at the tray, and then around the room, which feels sufficient to convey the fact he had no idea that there was a crew member assigned to bring him food.

"I wouldn't forget your dinner even though we're back at Earth for a few days," she says lightly.

"Sure," he says, nodding in agreement even though he has no idea what she's talking about. "Definitely."

"I didn't get a chance to ask you, how was your trip, sir?"

"Trip?" Jim shakes his head. "I was at HQ."

"Oh, what a shame you couldn't get back home," the woman says with a gentle shake of her head. "I know you were so looking forward to seeing your parents. Unless they were able to make the trip out to San Francisco?"

"No," he says, his tone sharper than he intends.

"That's too bad," she says and Jim can't help but think that it's just fine with him. He sent his mother a one line message letting her know he was alive and received an even shorter response. Considering the way they typically interact, he considers it a resounding success of Kirk familial relations.

"Is that all?" he asks, the desire to dig into his steak mixing with his lack of patience to discuss his family or this ostensible trip that she and Chekov assume he just took.

"Yes sir," she says, starting to back out of the room, looking at him with concern. "Is everything all right, Captain? You seem…"

"Long week, I didn't mean to be short," he says, making his tone gentler even though he thinks she probably doesn't need to be asking if he's all right since he's pretty sure nobody this side of the Delta Quadrant is technically 'all right' with everything that's happened. "And I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Sir?" she asks, stepping closer to him. "Are you ok? I can get Doctor McCoy up here if you're not feeling well."

"He's back on board?" Jim asks, feeling something in him lighten at the thought. Bones, here, on the _Enterprise_ when Jim wasn't sure he would step foot in space again. Or, rather, he was entirely sure that he wouldn't, something that had been gnawing at him in conjunction with Spock's quick departure. Bones had never come to Starfleet to explore far reaches of the galaxy and more than once had intimated that he would be satisfied at a planetside medical outpost. Nearly getting blown up by a madman had only cemented his opinion that space was a terrible place to live and a worse place to die, leaving Jim faced with the fact he would likely be accepting his commission on the _Enterprise_ without Bones there next to him.

"He never left," the woman tells him and Jim just shakes his head.

"What? Yes he did. He's-"

"Bridge to Captain Kirk," he hears and Jim is so distracted by hearing his new rank in front of his name that he just gives the woman a little wave when she backs out of his quarters, frowning at him.

"Go ahead, Mr Chekov."

"Comms are functioning again. However, Engineering reports substantial repairs are needed on the isolinear phase actuator and will take longer than previously anticipated."

"Very well." There's a pause and Jim winces, feeling like he's forgetting something very captainy he's supposed to be doing or saying. "Ah, um, you'll file the appropriate reports, I assume."

"I can do that," Chekov says and Jim wonders if he even knows how. Trust your crew, Pike always told them in command seminars. Let them ask questions, don't hold their hands. Jim tells himself not to meddle and that Chekov can sort it out and after leaving the ensign with orders to send along any more updates, settles down to his dinner.

The rest of the night is spent in a happy haze of rib eye, mashed potatoes, green beans – which he'll have to remember to tell Bones he ate all of, since any good news this week needs to be held on to with both hands – and a finally full, happy stomach that he rubs his hand over. It's late enough that he forgoes unpacking the rest of his things and just tosses his duffel towards his dresser before stripping down and flopping onto his mattress.

He has ages to unpack and he's not willing to give up his post steak drowsiness if it means he can catch a decent amount of sleep before his mind starts churning once again over what to do about a first officer, not to mention all the other strange things that happened that evening.

Somewhere between wondering who the woman was and why Chekov looked so different even if he sounded the same, he drifts off into a muddled dream of old fashioned padds containing the names of survivors and an entire stack of filmplasts with the notice of Spock's resignation on each one and then he's walking down a long hall way of a hospital, looking in room after room trying to find Bones but they're all empty, the entire place is empty and he's starting to get that same prickle on the back of his neck as he did earlier when he's half awoken by a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Jim?" he hears and he's so groggy and his body's so leaden and his mind so punch-drunk from sleep that his first thought is that the voice sounds an awful lot like Spock's.

Which is crazy, he thinks, plus there's probably nobody even there and it's just his exhaustion conjuring up a warm body laying behind him.

It's a lot harder to keep thinking it's crazy when that warm hand – which is seeming less and less like an apparition from a dream and more and more like an actual hand – slides from his back down his side to rest over his hip, long fingers curling into his skin in a way that simultaneously makes Jim want it to keep wandering to the front of his body and as his mind clears makes him wonder who, exactly, thought it would be a good idea to get into his bed and start touching him.

"Jim?" he hears again, that same deep, even voice and it makes him blink his eyes open since it really does sound like Spock.

"Mrrgghhff," he answers into his pillow and when the fingers tighten slightly in a way that is very real and not at all dreamlike, he jerks awake with all the grace of someone who was dead asleep, wiping at what amounts to quite a bit of drool on his cheek.

It takes him longer than it should to make sense of where he is and what he's seeing, namely quarters that are still unfamiliar, lit in the dim grayness of ship's night, the sheets tangled under him since he never properly pulled them back, and definitely – definitely- someone in bed next to him. Who is also naked. And Vulcan. And looking at him with one eyebrow raised and his hand still extended.

"Jim?" he – Spock, Jim thinks even though the name echoes around his head hollowly, like it can't quite find a place to lodge because it's so _fucking_ preposterous – asks a third time, reaching for him.

"The _fuck_!" Jim shouts.

"What is wrong?"

"What are you _doing_?" Jim's body leaps into action so suddenly that he jumps from the bed even as he scrambles for the sheet, dragging it across his lap and backing across the room so that by the time the surge of energy is passed, he's got his back against a bulkhead and half of the bedding clutched in his hand in front of him as he tries to look anywhere that's not at Spock. Naked. In his bed. "Fuck," he half yells again. "What the fuck!"

Spock is doing the Vulcan equivalent of what must be looking at Jim like he's sprouted two more heads, which namely involves raising his eyebrow higher and tipping his head to the side.

"You asked me to wake you," he says simply and Jim really, _really_, wishes he would make some effort to cover himself, especially when some corner of his mind decides it's a good time to remind him what an excellent shot Uhura is. He clutches the blanket tighter to him.

"I – you – you're gone! You left!" Jim shakes his head to clear it, but Spock's still there, so he tries squeezing his eyes shut but when he opens them, Spock hasn't moved an inch, so Jim does the next best thing than just calling security and leans forward enough to grab a pillow from the bed and throw it at Spock's lap.

"Indeed," Spock agrees, looking curiously down at the pillow and then back up at Jim. "I had business at the Embassy today, which we spoke of at breakfast, when you asked me to wake you upon my return, since it would be after you had fallen asleep."

"I did not!" Jim's voice is dangerously close to squeaking it's risen so high. "You left," he says again since Spock is simply not understanding that _logically_, he should be nearly half way to New Vulcan by now. "I'm dreaming. This is a dream."

"While this is not a dream, I perhaps should have waited until you were not in the deepest part of your sleep cycle to wake you." Spock tosses the pillow back up to the top of the bed and somehow manages to rectify the mess of the bed Jim's made while he stands there staring at the utter improbability of Spock fussing with his blankets and then smoothing them back in invitation. "Come back to bed, Jim."

"No."

"Jim?" Spock asks.

"You're naked," Jim explains.

"As are you."

"And you're not supposed to be here."

"As I reminded you, you asked me to-"

"I didn't, I didn't," Jim says, starting to raise both hands, palms out, before feeling the sheet slip from in front of him and grabbing at it again. "Look, I don't know if this is some type of post traumatic stress thing you have going on, but let me… here, let me comm Uhura, I think she's back on board, and she can…" Jim trails off and waves at the general specter of all the nakedness, and the bed, and the eyebrow rising once again. "Let me just go get her," Jim mumbles, wriggling into his boxers in a way he hopes more or less preserves what little modesty he still has going for himself.

"I do not believe Lieutenant Uhura would be particularly useful in this situation," Spock says evenly.

"I'm pretty sure she has the naked you thing covered, actually," Jim corrects, fumbling with his belt. His comment seems torow Spock for a loop, or as much of a loop as Vulcans are thrown for since the eyebrow only climbs a millimeter higher, and as much as Jim wants answers about all the nudity, and the being in his bed, and when exactly Spock waltzed back on board despite having received an honorable discharge earlier that day which would have rendered any of his access codes unusable, he realizes he should probably explain. "Look, let me just comm her and you and your girlfriend can sort all this out."

"Jim," Spock says, slowly rising from the bed and walking over to him and if there's something Jim never, _ever_, thought would happen in his lifetime it would be Commander Spock approaching him in his bedroom, wearing a look of concern and exactly zero clothes. "You are unwell."

"And you're fucking crazy, man! You got into bed with me! And what is this, what do you think-"

"Jim-"

"No you've had a bad week, I get that, but you have a girlfriend. Who is Uhura, I might add, since you seem to have conveniently forgotten that, and-"

"Jim-"

"Nope. No. I'm comming her right now."

"Jim, you are confused. Lieutenant Uhura and I are not engaged in a romantic relationship."

"Not engaged in… yeah fucking right, Spock. Just hold on, ok? And maybe grab some pants? Let me get her, she'll know what to do with you."

"Jm, you and I have been in a committed, exclusive relationship for nineteen months and twenty six days."

It is not often that Jim finds himself at a complete loss of words but it seems, lately, that whenever it happens, it tends to be around Spock.

"Bullshit."


	2. Chapter 2

"Your eyes are a different color," is the first thing Spock says when he's gotten his clothes on. "As of the last time I saw you, and for the entirety of our acquaintance, they have been hazel."

"As of the entirety of our… I'm still kind of stuck on the fact you think we're dating, to be honest here."

"We are."

"I'm beginning to rethink how good an arguer you are," Jim mutters, which only earns him another eyebrow, but really, the man could come up with an actual explanation for the whole thing about them dating, rather than just repeating it over and over.

"I am unsure as to what you-"

"Never mind," Jim sighs. "When is Bones- Bones!" he half shouts when the door finally, _finally_, slides open. "Look, there's something really wrong with Spock, Bones, you gotta take a look at him."

"I don't have to look at him to tell you that," Bones says and Jim wants to hug him it feels so familiar, Bones standing there with his arms crossed and eyeing Jim with significant lack of patience. After everything this week, just… _everything_, Jim never thought he'd be so happy to see Bones so exasperated, and on the _Enterprise _of all places.

"He thinks we're dating," Jim explains, already grinning because if there's something that'll make Bones laugh during a week like this one, it'll be the thought of Jim in a committed relationship.

The laugh doesn't come though, just a small frown passing over his friend's face and his quick look back and forth between Jim and Spock.

"Jim?"

"No, Bones, really, I think… I mean, everything that's happened, I think there's something really wrong with him, you know?" Jim asks quietly, steering Bones to the side with a hand on his arm. The guy's had a bad week, which is the understatement of the century and Jim doesn't feel right standing in front of him and ridiculing the guy no matter how hilarious his delusions are. "He um… well tonight, he…" Jim trails off, glancing behind him at Spock, who's watching them impassively. "He, uh-"

"I really, don't want to hear it, Jim," Bones says, backing up towards the door, his hands held in front of him.

"No, no, I want you to… I'm not… what? I want you to look at the Commander. He's all…"

"You promised. No details."

"No details about what?" Jim asks. It's the first time Bones has ever refused to look at someone and Jim can't make any more sense of that than he could of having Spock in his bed. Touching him.

"Is this some kind of joke? Did Spock sprout a sense of humor and you two thought this would be a fun way to wake me up?"

Jim tries to decide if it's stranger to think that Spock might actually posses a sense of humor or that Jim has seen him naked.

"No, I just… he's… I told you," Jim says, dropping his voice again. "He thinks we're dating. And I don't know-"

"Did you break up? So you want to go get a drink? Is that what this is?" Bones crosses his arms. "It's the middle of the night, Jim, but it's not exactly the first time I've been through this with you."

"Break up? No, we didn't…"

"Good, I don't want to have to deal with you again after one of those."

"Doctor," Spock says, rising from the end of Jim's bed. "We did not end our relationship. However, as you can see Jim is-"

"Not a relationship counselor, Spock," Bones says, his hands rising in front of him again. "Don't want to hear it. Nope. Done. Goodnight. You two work this out, you hear?"

"Jim is under the impression we are not in a relationship," Spock continues as if Bones hadn't spoken.

"Well, we're not," Jim says. "C'mon, Bones, look at him. What is this?"

"What is this, Jim? This is you waking me up in the middle of the night to deal with some sort of issue the two of you are having!"

"We're not having an issue. Spock is having an issue. There is no 'we'."

"That's just cold, Jim," Bones mutters. "You two might be fighting, but this isn't like you."

"That isn't like him!" Jim cries, pointing at Spock. "He- he got in my bed!"

"Jim-" Spock says, way too calmly for someone who is supposed to not even be in Starfleet anymore, let alone getting into officer's beds. In their quarters. On their ships. Naked.

"Jim-" Bones says, his tone far too gentle and not nearly sufficiently scandalized at the thought of Spock, of all people, climbing into Jim's bed. "How long has he been like this, Spock?"

"As of this evening, he seems to have no memory of our relationship. Furthermore, his eyes have changed color."

"His eyes?" Bones asks, stepping towards Jim. "Lights."

The lights come on full glare and Jim blinks against them, resisting the urge to cover his face with the other two men staring straight into his eyes.

"You're supposed to be halfway across the solar system, Spock, not staring into my eyes," Jim grumbles.

"Huh. You're eyes are blue, Jim."

"Of course they're blue! And I'm not… I'm not- Look. Spock. I'm sorry if you think, or if you're confused, or if somehow some wire got crossed and this is some thing about me versus Uhura-"

"I assure you my brain contains no wires," Spock interjects.

"Could have fooled me," Bones mutters. "And what is this about Uhura?"

"She… him…" Jim points back at Spock. "You know! I told you all about it!"

"I don't. And you didn't."

"This is not the first time she has been mentioned tonight," Spock says.

"You and her," Jim says, licking his lips and pausing, thinking of the best way to explain this when Spock is so incredibly, obviously confused. "Are an item. Dating. Whatever. In love."

"Spock and Uhura are friends," McCoys says, just as slow. "But you and Spock are the ones who are dating, Jim."

"Bones! What is wrong with you?"

"There's something wrong with you, Jim," McCoy says in that same slow, firm tone Jim's heard him take with countless patients.

"I quite concur."

"Now you two agree," Jim mutters, crossing his arms. "I'm fine. I'm the sane one. Bones, c'mon man, stop messing around, I'm too tired for this."

"Your eyes are really blue," Bones says, still studying him. "And you look different. Did you get a haircut?"

"No," Jim says, scrubbing a hand up the back of his head.

"He appears to be younger," Spock says, walking over to stand shoulder to shoulder with Bones, so that they're both staring at him.

"He does," Bones agrees.

"You look older," Jim grumbles but when he actually stops to think about it, Bones does look older. "And your ring is different."

Bones glances down at his hand and frowns. "No, it's not, Jim."

For the first time, Spock's implacable expression shifts, but it's so slight Jim can't read it, though Bones' face is reading concern loud and clear and it's Jim's turn to take a step back.

"This is weird. You two are being weird," he states. "Bones, your ring. And Spock… you… just all of this. What's going on?"

"I do not know," Spock says softly and Jim can't help but think that he looks concerned, if he can even wrap his mind around Spock looking concerned along with everything else that's happening.

"You think we're dating," Jim says slowly, pointing at Spock, who nods. "And you think he and I are dating," Jim asks Bones, who also nods. "Let's call Uhura."

"I do not understand your fixation on Lieutenant Uhura."

"Fixation? Spock, fixation is making out with her on a transporter pad!"

"Are you cheating on Jim?" Bones asks, so severe and so sudden that Spock takes a long stride back from him. "I swear to God, Spock, I told you once and I'll tell you again, if you hurt him, so help me-"

"Bones, Bones, it's fine, it's cool, he and I aren't-" Jim repeats for the millionth time that night but even as he does so, he sees another shift in Spock's expression and shuts his mouth so fast there's an audible click. There might be a better way around this than denying a relationship with a man who just lost his planet, and his mother, and who might be dealing with it in a peculiar way but Jim certainly isn't helping matters by continuing to deny – with no proof – what's actually happening.

It takes a couple minutes for Uhura to get to his quarters, which Bones spends glowering at Spock, and Spock spends glancing repeatedly at Jim, and Jim spends staring at Bones' hand and the tiny signs of age around his mouth and eyes that Jim swears weren't there the last time he saw him.

But when Uhura gets there, it's no better. Jim was sure she'd be pissed about him waking her up in the middle of the night, orders from a commanding officer or no, but she looks somewhere beyond tired and maybe like she's been… crying? He shakes off the thought because he's seen Uhura stressed and he's seen Uhura upset, and he's seen Uhura kissing goodbye her as-of-then-secret boyfriend that Kirk is kind of dying to get the details about, but he has never, ever, in three years of the Academy which brings most cadets to tears at some point, seen Uhura cry.

The sight of her so upset must be getting to Bones and Spock, too, because they both stare at her she walks in, and don't speak when she lays eyes on Spock and draws in a short, quick breath.

"Spock?" she asks, so softly that it suddenly registers in the exhaustion and confusion that has taken residency in Jim's brain that Spock leaving Starfleet might just also mean Spock leaving –

"Spock?" she asks again, stepping forward. "What's going on. Why are you here?"

"Uhura, Spock's not-" Jim starts, thinking he should have maybe explained this whole thing before dragging her out of bed.

"What happened to your hair?" Bones cuts in, his mouth slightly open and his forehead furrowed. "Uhura?"

"What?" she asks, grabbing at her ponytail and then quickly brushing a few stray strands that have slipped loose – something else Jim has never seen since Uhura is nothing less than fastidious about her appearance – behind her ears. "I just woke up."

"No, you-"

"How old are you?" Spock asks and when Jim looks at him he swears he can actually hear gears turning in the man's mind, what with the fierce look of concentration he's wearing as he stares back and forth between Jim and Uhura. "You once mentioned you wore your hair long while at the Academy."

"What are you doing here?" she asks him, her arms still crossed. "Are you… back?"

"How old are you?" Spock repeats. "What year is it?"

"It's 2258," Jim says slowly, staring at the way Uhura's staring at Spock, her eyes suspiciously wet.

"No it's not, Jim," McCoy says, looking back and forth between him and Uhura. "It's 2268."

"Jim," Spock says softly, stepping towards him.

"What's going on?" Uhura asks, blinking at Spock walking towards Jim with, Jim's sure, an expression on Spock's face that Uhura has to be much more familiar with than he is, all that Vulcan austerity softened by what is clearly emotion, no matter how impassive the man normally is.

"Let's get you two to Sickbay," Bones suggests and his mouth tightens the same moment Spock's expression hardens as Jim steps away from Spock.

"Sorry," he mutters, swallowing and looking over at Uhura, who's still just staring at Spock. "I just…"

"Sickbay," Bones says again, firmer, his hand on Jim's back like he's going to make a break for it.

No matter what's happening and no matter what year it is, him sprinting in the other direction of a medical exam still seems to be the same, since Bones hovers close behind him down the corridor.

All the way, his mind's churning over what could possibly be up with all this and he comes up with scenarios that range from Spock and Bones suffering some sort of psychotic break from stress, to the possibility he's still dreaming, to some sort of messed up thing from Command pitting his crew against him to see how he'll react.

He glances over at Uhura more than once, but all she does give him a small shrug and her patented 'this is your fault, Jim, figure it out face' that he's seen way too often over the last three years.

As they go, he can't help but look around, and as he does he notices that the ship seems… busier than it should be even despite the late hour. There's too many personnel around for the stripped down crew the _Enterprise_ is operating with, and he sees a disproportionate number of crew members in science blues and command tunics, whereas the last few days the ship has been crawling with communications, engineering, and other operations officers as they work to rehab all the damage done by Nero.

And more than that, the more Jim looks, the more things look different. Not so different that he notices it all right away, but the bulkheads seem less shiny and there's something off about the corridors he can't put his finger on.

He's considering whether or not he hit his head hard enough that he doesn't even remember it when Uhura suddenly speaks. She's also staring around the corridors and, now that Jim looks, is on the receiving end of not a few bald stares as people turn to check out her hair.

"My quarters are purple."

"What?" Bones asks. "Are you having any other visual impairments?"

"No, I just mean the decorations. I haven't unpacked yet and yet somehow everything is all put away and just… purple."

"You haven't unpacked? What does that mean, unpack from what?"

"I just got onboard today I haven't had a chance. I'm surprised you're even here, I thought you were still planetside in the hospital."

"My duffel was gone," Jim realizes. "I wasn't unpacked either."

"Unpacked?" Bones repeats. "From your trip to Iowa?"

"I didn't go to Iowa," Jim says, again, rubbing at his forehead. "C'mon, Bones, you know I hate going there. And anyway, I was at HQ all day."

Bones just gives him another look, which makes Jim sigh as they all walk into Sickbay, which is also slightly different but Jim chalks that up to it mostly being intact.

"Looks like the building crews got a lot done," he says, slowly turning around and taking in the walls and ceilings, which the last time he saw them, were nothing more than braces and exposed wires. Bones and Spock glance at each other and their mutual, unspoken agreement is enough to make Jim swallow. "What?"

"There has not been any maintenance done in Sickbay since we returned to Earth," Spock says.

"But this was…" Jim waves at the room and then spreads out his hands in front of him, miming an explosion. "Gone."

"The only thing gone is my night's sleep," Bones mutters, steering Jim towards a bed. "Sit. You too, Uhura."

Bones frowns through both of their exams while Jim fidgets and stares around.

"The buttons look like candy," he finally points out, which makes Bones drop the tricorder on the bed next to Jim's leg and let out an all too familiar long suffering sigh.

"Exactly."

"Pardon?" Spock asks from where he's been standing, staring at Jim with an expression that is a little too blank.

"Candy," Bones mutters. "He's physiologically the same as he was ten years ago, Spock. He's… regressed, you could say. De-aged. Uhura, too."

"I have not," Jim says sharply. "And they do look like candies. Gumdrops, to be specific, but that's not… I'm not… What do you even mean, Bones?"

"According to your memory, what is your current assignment?" Spock asks.

"Captain of the USS _Enterprise_," Jim answers, though it still sounds funny to say that out loud.

"Twenty five and a captain?" Bones asks. "That's ambitious even for you, Jim."

"When you were twenty five you served as an ensign on the USS Republic before you transferred to the USS Farragut," Spock tells him and sounds so sure of it that Jim half believes him before he shakes himself.

"I applied to the _Republic_ and _Farragut_, but our postings hadn't been finalized and I was hoping, I mean we were all hoping, Uhura too, that we'd be on the _Enterprise_. But all that was before…" he trails off and looks over at Uhura. "You know all this, Spock. You too, Bones. Hell, you proofread read my applications for both ships."

Bones just squints at him, so Jim looks at Uhura again. She's the only one who hasn't said anything about him going to Iowa, or that his eyes are the wrong color, and is the only other one who has noticed these slight differences.

"I don't know," she answers to his querulous look. "I'm really tired and today…" she trails off and glances at Spock, then down at her hands that are folded in her lap. Jim thinks he's never seen her fingers clenched so tight, but when she sees him looking she immediately relaxes her hands and smoothes out her skirt. "It's been a long day," she finishes.

"Is that a new uniform, Uhura?" Bones asks and Uhura brushes her fingers over her skirt again. "Short sleeves?"

"Well, yeah," she says, looking around at the three of them. "You were there, McCoy, you and I went to get our uniforms and you picked up Kirk's too. That was just yesterday."

"You don't remember that?" Jim asks. "I had that meeting with Admiral Archer about Scotty's assignment and the quartermaster had just received our active duty uniforms, since we only had the ones we had gone to Vulcan with. You got mine for me. Thanks, by the way."

"When did you go to Vulcan, Jim?" Spock asks, a small furrow between his brows. "You must be confused, you and I are intending to go in three weeks to see my parents."

"No… I, no…" Jim looks helplessly at Uhura, who finally pushes herself up off her biobed and crosses to where Spock's standing.

"Spock," she says quietly and the hand she lays on Spock's arm gets an eyebrow the sorts of which Jim's never seen. She doesn't remove it, though, just steps into him in a way that makes Jim look away, like he shouldn't be watching something so private between them. "Look-"

"Lieutenant," he interrupts, moving out of her grasp. "Please desist."

"I don't understand," she says quietly, reaching for him again before dropping her hand when he continues to pull back. "Today, you said-"

"You and I have not spoken today. Furthermore, while I understand that you and the Captain are suffering the effects of some type of-"

"We aren't suffering any effects of anything," Jim interjects.

"You're suffering from suddenly being twenty five," Bones supplies and Jim takes a deep breath so he won't snap, not at Bones of all people.

"I _am_ twenty five. And Spock, I know you've had a week I can't even possibly understand, and hell, I don't know you that well to begin with, but everything, tonight, with the… it's weird, man. And you too, Bones. What is with all of this?"

"You don't know him well?" Bones asks. "Lie back, Jim, I'm going to give you a full body scan. I think that if there's anything that's true in this room, it's that you know Spock pretty damn well. Better than I'd ever like to, that's for sure."

"I share that sentiment, Doctor."

"Stop," Uhura interrupts, both hands raised. "All three of you, just stop. Kirk and I aren't the crazy ones here."

"Thanks," Jim grins.

She sighs and Jim thinks it's only his new rank that keeps her from rolling her eyes at him, since it certainly wouldn't be unprecedented.

"McCoy, you've been in the hospital with the survivors for what, five days straight? Seven if you count the trip back from Vu- the trip back. And Spock… Spock I know it's been a lot. But," she says, stepping towards him again as he eyes her warily. "Maybe you should try to sleep, and then we can talk. Again. And if this is you not wanting to go to the colony, that's… you know that's great. I think that's wonderful. But let's talk about it in the morning, ok?"

"What colony?" Bones asks and Jim seriously considers running Bones' own tricorder over him.

"The Vulcan colony. You know, New Vulcan or whatever they decide they're going to call it."

"What happened to that old, inhospitable dirtball that is Vulcan? "

"Bones?"

"Jim?"

"McCoy, please," Uhura sighs, glancing between Bones and Spock.

"Too soon," Jim confirms. "Even if it is 2268, still too soon."

"It is 2268," Spock says with way more equanimity than even a Vulcan should be able to muster in such a moment.

"It is not," Jim says, his voice starting to rise.

"It's not," Uhura confirms.

"I'm going to confine you to quarters, Jim, and you too Uhura, until we can sort this out."

"I'm going to confine you to quarters, Bones, as well as you, Spock, since the last thing Starfleet needs this week is the two of you running around denying everything that just happened!"

"Which was what, exactly, Jim?"

Jim opens his mouth to answer Bones, but while he's trying to think of words that are less bald than reminding the room that Vulcan just got sucked into a giant black hole, Uhura steps into the space between the three of them.

"Let's slow down," she suggests. "The three of you hold on of a second and let's talk about this rationally."

"About what?" Bones asks, crossing his arms.

"Vulcan's destruction," Jim says, which is met by a stony silence and more looks traded back and forth between Bones and Spock.

"Perhaps a ration discussion is in order," Spock finally says and Jim can't help but agree.

The list they make for the next hour as ship's night ticks by around them only becomes more and more preposterous, no less so for the fact that Jim can barely use the antiquated padd Bones pulls out to write on once the discrepancies in their stories become too much for anyone except Spock to remember.

"Middle of a five year mission?" Jim asks, poking at the padd until Bones takes it out of his hands with a sigh and starts typing himself. "You're in the middle of a five year mission and are making a pit stop back on Earth?"

"Resupply and repair stop," Spock corrects.

"Right. Pit stop. That's what I said." Jim closes his eyes, which just feels scratchy and grainy. He rubs at them until he sees spots, then keeps going until Bones bats his hand away from his face. "All right. Well. According to us," he says, gesturing at Uhura sitting on the biobed next to him, "we're cadets who received field promotions in the wake of what is being called the Battle of Vulcan. According to the two of you," he says, gesturing to Spock and Bones sitting together on the biobed across from them, "we hold the same ranks and positions but I didn't become captain of the _Enterprise_ until 2265."

"Correct," Spock nods.

Bones shakes his head again, looking from Uhura to Jim to Spock and back again.

"And you two," he says, pointing back and forth between Uhura and Spock. "Are…"

She presses her lips together, her eyes flashing at Jim before she finally nods.

"We've been together for three and a half years," she says finally, her hands tight in her lap again.

Bones lets out a low, long whistle while Spock just blinks.

"Curious."

Jim immediately has a half dozen questions, his mind coming up with more and more even as he tries to decide what he wants to know first about the truly delicious notion of Uhura having dated Spock for so long. His train of thought, which involves a lot of sordid details of cadet reds and instructors blacks, is interrupted by Bones pointing back and forth between him and Spock.

"Kind of blows you two out of the water."

"The length of a relationship in no way makes one more or less valid-"

"Geez, Spock," Bones sighs. "Looks like you get laid in any reality. Congratulations."

The corners of Spock's mouth turn down minutely. "That is hardly relevant."

"Still," Bones says. "At least it means Jim here didn't either pick the most awkward way to break up with you, or hit his head so hard he forgot the last year and a half."

"Nineteen months and twenty six days," Spock interjects in a tone Jim can only call prim. "Regardless, what you said is accurate. The fact that you, Jim, and Lieutenant Uhura, and I and Doctor McCoy have such identical understandings of this disparate scenarios suggests that a mere lapse in memory is statistically unlikely."

"Speak Standard, Spock, it's too late for this. Or, rather, too early," Bones mutters, rubbing at his forehead.

"An alternate reality," Uhura supplies.

"Again," Jim adds.

"Again?" Bones asks.

"It's a long story," Jim sighs, meeting Uhura's eyes and seeing the beginning of a fear that she's almost successful in hiding, but which Jim also feels welling up inside of him. "If we're here…" he says slowly.

"Where is our Kirk and Uhura?" Spock finishes for him. "I do not know."


	3. Chapter 3

It takes well past breakfast to finish explaining to Spock and Bones all the time traveling and the different worm holes, and black holes, and Romulans and what red matter is, not to mention falling off of drills and last minute transporter locks, so they've long since pushed aside their trays of half eaten food when he and Uhura are done speaking.

"I don't even know what to say," Bones finally sighs. "Your entire fourth year class? A _planet_? And so much of the _Enterprises_' crew?"

"That is rather upsetting," Spock says blandly, folding his hands on the conference room table.

If Jim hadn't seen the slightly terrifying calm that came over Spock in the moments before Spock first hit him, he might have taken the Vulcan's reaction differently. As it is, he watches that same tension build in the careful way Spock holds himself and hears a strain in his voice that hadn't been there earlier.

He also watches Uhura's hand slide halfway across the table before she abruptly pulls it back again.

"Good God, man," Bones says, turning in his seat to face Spock. "That's it? 'Rather upsetting?'"

"My parents?" Spock asks Jim, but Jim just looks at Uhura. He's not sure he can sit here next to her and take over her place of being the one so close with Spock, no matter what this Spock seems to expect.

"We were able to beam up your father along with a number of other elders," Uhura finally says softly.

"I see," Spock says, shifting his gaze from Jim to Uhura and back again. He stands, pushing his chair neatly back into place. "It is time for alpha shift."

Spock takes two steps towards the door and Jim thinks he's never seen the man as anxious to get out of a room in so calm and constrained a manner. Then again, Jim wouldn't want to be stuck with a version of a boyfriend who didn't remember their relationship, while also with a girlfriend who does, and having just found out his planet and most family had been obliterated.

"What should we do?" Jim asks before Spock can bolt out of there. "Don't we need to… undo whatever happened that got us here?"

"I will scan the ship's log for any explanation of this occurrence, as well as contact Mr. Scott for his assistance."

"In the meantime, I can't clear either of you for duty," Bones says gently. "This isn't technically your ship."

"Yeah," Jim says, laying his hand flat on the table and pressing his fingers down so that when he picks it up again, there's smudges on the smooth surface. "Yeah, sure."

"And I'm not sure it's a good idea for either of you to leave the ship," Bones continues. "What do you think, Spock?"

Spock has been staring at the wall somewhere over Jim's shoulder, but that laser like attention seems to snap back at the sound of his name.

"I quite agree, Doctor."

"Definitely an alternate universe," Uhura says quietly and Jim can't help but smile.

"Let us continue this discussion after our shifts," Spock suggests.

"You two will be alright today, right?" Bones asks. "I have to get to Sickbay, but you know where we are if you need us." He stands and pushes his own chair in. "What am I saying, you two are good buddies, you'll be fine."

Alternate universe for sure, Jim thinks, glancing at Uhura out of the corner of his eye. He doesn't correct Bones, though, just nods as he and Spock leave the room.

"So," he says into the silence.

"I'm going to go back to sleep," Uhura says abruptly, standing as well.

"Uhura-"

"It's been a long day," she says and there's that tremor in her voice again, and the tightness in her hands and a particular slump to her shoulders that he ever saw before Nero shattered everything good and safe in their world. "I just need some time alone."

"Are you sure?" he asks. "Because if you want to talk, or whatever, we can-"

"I'm good," she says quickly and is gone through the door after the other two before Jim can get another word out.

He doesn't particularly want to be alone and he might not have gotten a full night sleep before Spock… he might not have gotten a full night sleep, but he got enough and he's pretty sure he's still running on a potent cocktail of adrenaline, caffeine and sheer terror from the combined events of the last week, so the thought of going back to bed just makes him jumpy.

Instead, he explores the ship, trying to avoid the bridge no matter how much he wants to see it. Swallowing the idea of being on an _Enterprise_ that isn't his _Enterprise_, no matter that it's only been his for a matter of days is just weird but it feels a bit like an adventure, like he can walk through the halls and have crew member after crew member nod 'sir' to him, or salute him with a crisp 'captain', no matter that he still feels like he should be in his cadet reds, saluting them instead.

When it'll stop feeling like an adventure and start feeling scary and like he's ensnared in a world that isn't quite his isn't a thought he lets rise to the forefront of his mind, no matter how often it seems to try.

Food is always a good distraction so he wanders down to the mess which is a lot like his _Enterprise_'s mess hall, except with the funny buttons and replicators that are actually completed so they produce more than just protein bars that taste like cardboard. He's tempted to have a second go-round at breakfast, since being pushed into a parallel reality really does something for the appetite but Bones is just as terrifying here as Jim's own Bones is, so he just grabs an apple.

It's satisfyingly crunchy, but with each bite the mantra of his own Bones keeps floating around his brain so that every chew and swallow just sounds like _Bones Bones Bones_ until Jim gives up and throws the half eaten fruit into a trash receptacle.

They never got far enough that morning to really discuss what might be happening to the other Jim and Uhura, and Jim can't help but wonder if his Bones is being called out of a surgery to identify a ten year older version of Jim who is, in all likelihood trying to find a Spock who is dating an Uhura who is here in this reality. It's enough to make his head spin and he spends long enough wondering if his Bones is ok that he finds he's circled around to the officer's deck without intending to go there.

No matter, he figures, rapping softly on Uhura's door.

"Oh, sorry, you were sleeping," he says when she opens it and blinks at him.

"Do you know how many times in the last three years you've woken me up?"

"No?"

"I stopped counting because I was afraid I would resort to physical violence," she sighs. "Come in."

"It's not my fault I got assigned to your dorm," he points out as she steps aside. "Wow, it's really purple, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry for waking you up. I can go."

"It's fine, too late now," she yawns, waving him off. "Coffee?"

"Do you think Bones is ok? Our Bones?" he asks. "Yes, coffee. Thanks."

"I don't know," she says, sighing again. "I was just wondering that."

"I thought you were asleep."

She doesn't answer him, just fusses with the replicator until it produces two mugs of coffee, hers black and his with copious amounts of cream and sugar.

"Thanks," he says, taking the mug she holds out to him. It's delicious but it just reminds him of all the mornings he spent with her at the Academy mess before everything went to hell. Or, rather, spent with Gaila and Bones and sometimes Uhura was there and sometimes she wasn't. She must have been there enough to figure out how he likes his coffee, though.

He watches her wrap both hands around her mug and sink down onto the edge of her – or, rather, the other Uhura's – bed, and he realizes that he can now probably guess exactly where she spent the mornings he didn't see her.

"So. Three and a half years. Huh. That's a long time." She doesn't say anything, just sips at her coffee and stares at the floor next to her feet. "Bones," he tries again, since maybe bringing up her boyfriend who he is, apparently, banging in this universe might not be the best plan. "All of them. Our Sulu and Chekov and Scotty. Think they know we're gone? I mean, I guess Spock would, since you two…"

"I'm sure they've noticed by now, assuming it's the same time here as it is there."

"Think we're there?"

She shrugs. "I don't know. I don't even know what happened. I just woke up and my room looked different and you were comming me, and then you know the rest of it."

"I was unpacking last night and it was weird for a second… the air kind of looked funny, like how it gets all wiggly above a fire or a stove?"

"I didn't notice that," she says, slowly shaking her head. "But I fell asleep really early."

"Yeah, I was tired, too."

They drink their coffee in silence and the way she's so quiet and half curled in on herself brings to mind the Uhura he knew at the Academy, alive and vibrant, quick to tell him off and always half laughing at him, whether it was during a training exercise or a class. He had always liked her for not putting up with him, a quality he had only ever found in Bones and had pretty much followed her around three years because of that, not withstanding her incredibly hot and incredibly wonderful roommate.

"Have you heard anything about Gaila?" he asks, swirling the last few sips of his coffee around in his mug.

"No."

"Oh." Her absence makes his chest feel funny. A planet is horrible and awful and tragic in a way he can't quite understand, and their dorm with all of its empty beds, and the halls of their _Enterprise_ with scorch marks and what Jim is pretty sure is blood still soaked into the tile. All of that is hard for him to wrap his mind around. Gaila, though, is like putting a face on the tragedy and it hollows out his stomach and tightens in his throat until he coughs and stares around Uhura's quarters. "That's, uh, too bad."

He hears Uhura mutter something that but it's too soft for him to make out.

"What?"

"I'm going to go for a run," Uhura announces, standing and setting her mug aside.

"Cool. I'll come too."

"I'm going to go for a run alone," she corrects, her lips pressed tight together and he nods quickly.

"Yeah, sure. Of course. I will… see you later, I guess."

He goes back to wandering around the ship, this time both assiduously avoiding the bridge as well as the gym. He mulls over Bones' comment about him and Uhura being buddies as much as he's able, but every time he thinks about it, that same tight feeling rises in his throat since any memory he has of her over the last few years invariably involves Gaila somewhere nearby and Bones as well.

His Bones. Jim's Bones who for three years was like a steady rock he could put his back up against, no matter how much Bones would grumble and sigh. Bones who got him on board the _Enterprise_, Bones who patched him up after everything that happened and stood over him while he choked down a protein bar, Bones who texted him updates about Pike over the last few days until the captain was awake.

Bones, who the idea of having left behind in some other plane of existence makes Jim's steps turn towards Sickbay for the second time that day.

"Hi," he says when the doors part and he's met with a strikingly tall, leggy blonde.

"Captain," she replies, slipping past him.

"Who was that?" he asks, hopping up on a bio bed next to where this Bones is reading through a padd.

"You don't have Chapel?"

"Chapel? No." Jim cranes his neck, peering down the corridor before the door swishes closed again. "Wish we did, though."

Bones frowns at him and glances at the door. "That's one of your crew, Jim."

"Oh. Yeah," Jim says quickly. "Of course."

He swings his legs, scuffing and squeaking his boot against the floor which makes Bones frown at him again, but at least this time it's because he's being annoying and isn't just… disappointing him.

"I didn't mean it like that," Jim mutters, but it feels worse to lie to Bones than it probably would have to just admit that he did mean it like that. "I mean I…"

"I knew twenty five year old you, you know," Bones says lightly. "S'fine, Jim."

For the first time, Jim wonders, really wonders about his older self, not just him in ten years but this other captain that this Bones and this Spock and this crew all know.

"At the Academy?" Jim asks, feeling himself brighten up at the thought.

"Briefly. I was on my way out to my first post on Capella IV." Bones shakes his head, setting the padd he's holding down. "It's strange to be explaining that to you, you know. Though the different eyes help."

"We're roommates," Jim says quietly, kicking at the floor again. "And Uhura lives down the hall."

Bones just grimaces, which isn't so far from Jim's Bones' reaction whenever he would come into the room and see the mess Jim had made, and it makes Jim smile.

"Are we."

"Yeah, we both joined up last minute, in Iowa actually. Met you on the shuttle to the Academy, hung over as all hell, Uhura rolling her eyes at us every thirty seconds all the way to San Francisco." Jim blinks, looking at Bones' hand again, but it's just the one ring, even though it's different than the one Jim's seen for the last three years. "You had just, um, gotten divorced."

"Some things stay the same," Bones grunts.

"Yeah, I guess so," Jim nods. "Listen, do you think your me and Uhura are… ok?"

"I don't know Jim," Bones says quietly. "But one thing I learned over the last few years is that you'll figure it all out. And if you don't, Spock will. And if he doesn't, I'll have to come save your sorry asses, so try to fix this right quick, you hear?"

"Are you worried?"

"I live in a constant state of worrying about you."

"So, yes, then."

Bones quiet for a long moment before nodding. "Yes."

"I wish there was something I could do to get us home but I don't…" he trails off, not wanting to voice the fact that he knows next to nothing about the ship, and has even less of an idea with all the equipment being slightly different in this universe. It's probably a good thing that Bones won't let him and Uhura on duty, since he'd probably spend all day following Spock around and bugging him for answers as to what the hell happened. But it would still be something to _do_ other than hurry up and wait for alpha shift to be over.

"It'll be alright, Jim."

"Yeah." Jim squints at a bio bed readout, grimacing at it like it'll send him back home. "And Spock and stuff?"

"Stuff? This is Spock you're talking about, you're going to have to be a bit more specific."

"I guess I…" Jim shifts from squinting to frowning at the display. "I feel kind of bad. I yelled at him a lot last night and it makes sense now why he was confused but…" Jim shrugs and chews on his lip for a long time before peering over at Bones. "Think I should go talk to him?"

"You promised me, Jim, no details and no relationship advice."

"That wasn't technically me," Jim says, leaving out the part where he pretty much promised that to his own Bones, a couple rough run ins with exes ago.

"Wasn't technically you," Bones mutters, shaking his head in a way that's all too familiar. "He and Uhura, huh?"

"I had no idea until all that happened with Vulcan, she never talked about it or at least not with me."

"Huh," Bones says again and this time Jim looks at him more carefully.

"What?"

"Nothing just…" It's Bones' turn to shrug. "You and Spock are… you two were idiots about each other for years and then finally… well, it's just frankly hard to imagine him with anyone else."

"Anyone else being anyone but me," Jim says, feeling like he wants to stick his finger in his ear and work it around until he's not hearing things like that anymore.

"You two are good for each other," Bones says, then levels a finger at Jim. "Don't tell Spock I said that."

"Spock doesn't like me. My Spock, I mean. Though I don't think your Spock is particularly keen on me. And he and Uhura are… well, they're good together, too. I mean, I don't really know, but they were just so…" Jim just presses his lips together, thinking of what had passed between the two of them on the transporter pad, and the way even with the weight of Pike slumped against him, he had seen how Spock ran to her when they beamed back.

"It's enough to make your head spin," Bones agrees. "And if you're going to hang around here all day pondering the mysteries of your non-boyfriend, make yourself useful, would you? It's bad for morale to have a ten year too young captain loafing around. That shipment of hyposprays needs to be unpacked and catalogued, and after that we need an inventory of our emergency kits since a certain officer I know, who seems to have conveniently slipped into a different reality, keeps going through copious amounts of gauze and analgesics whenever he beams down to a planet."

"Thanks," Jim says before he can think. "I mean, sure. Sure thing, Bones." He clears his throat because it feels tight again, but not in a panicky way. It hurts a little to look at Bones, even a different Bones, standing next to him with a padd, shaking his head at him. It's a good hurt, though, one that makes him reach out and squeeze Bones' arm before he hops off the biobed.

"You'll be ok, Jim," Bones says quietly, laying a hand over his. "You'll be just fine, if I know anything about you, this version of you or another."


	4. Chapter 4

Bones keeps Jim busy for the rest of the day so it's not until alpha shift is over that he gets an itchy, cramped feeling crawling over him when he remembers how much of everything in this universe is off and how out of place he feels here. He feels out of place in his own universe too, with brand new captain stripes and a crew missing a first officer, and his own Bones maybe – probably – not joining him on the ship, but at least the padds there are right, and there aren't funny colored buttons, and at least the post-Nero mess is his mess to deal with. It makes his stomach ache a bit, not just thinking of his own universe but the daunting task that awaits him there. Or rather, awaits him and Uhura and Sulu and Chekov and Scotty and the handful of other officers who have already signed on. They're the only thing that've made him feel at all better since they dropped out of warp above Vulcan and he tosses aside the last empty hypo box, already moving towards the door.

"Bones, I'm going to go check on Uhura. Shit, I should have asked her if she wanted to come down here or something."

"Put that in the garbage receptacle!" Bones yells from his office and Jim glares at the half closed door, wondering how Bones possibly could have known that Jim just tossed it on the table.

He's still mulling that over when he finally gets to Uhura's quarters.

Unlike that morning, she doesn't answer her door right away so he's considering checking the rec room or mess hall when it finally slides open.

"Kirk," she says by way of greeting.

"Hi, I um… How was your run?"

"Fine."

"Oh, good. Good. I just wanted to come by and say hi."

"Hi, Kirk," she sighs.

"Can I come in or something?"

She looks like she's seriously considering asking what that 'something' is but then softens slightly and steps aside.

She's got a padd sitting on the foot of her bed and Jim's a half second away from asking what she's reading when he notices the blinking cursor.

"What?" she asks, picking it up before he can get nosy – which he admits is a likely scenario – and setting it on her desk, facedown.

"You hungry?"

"Not really. I had a late lunch."

"Good. Yeah, I was just thinking of getting dinner, but…" He draws his upper lip between his teeth for a long moment.

"But?" she finally asks.

"Think they found anything today? Spock and Scotty?"

"I'm sure we would have heard if they did," Uhura says and Jim can't help but think that she's probably right.

"It's kind of strange to be trapped somewhere when it feels like…"

"We're just at home but a few things are different?" Uhura asks, glancing around her quarters. "It is strange, I'll admit. I feel like I'm less panicked than I should be, or than I would be if we had ended up somewhere less familiar amid a bunch of strangers."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Jim nods. "I keep forgetting that it's even that different since Bones is basically the same person, though I think ours is a bit grumpier."

"He was rooming with you," Uhura points out. "That would drive anyone to abject, unmitigated stress."

"Whatever, Uhura, Bones loves me," Jim grins. "But really, a couple aesthetic changes… one big change, I guess, in terms of some key personal relationships, but other than that?" He shrugs and joins her looking around her quarters. "Still, I'd like to go home. And hey- how're you doing with all of this?"

Uhura's silent and Jim resists the urge to bite at his lip again before she finally sits on the edge of her bed and folds her legs under her neatly. He takes it as a tacit invitation – which it's probably not – to sink into a chair.

"It's strange," she says, finally, and he quickly nods.

"It is."

"But I also feel like everything since your hearing has been strange. Including your hearing." She shakes her head slowly, her ponytail dragging across her shoulder.

That all seems so long ago, like ages have gone by since he stood in the simulator and grinned up at the observation room. How strange to think Spock was up there, Spock who would only hours from then be shooting at Romulans with him, standing beside him while he tried to negotiate Nero's surrender.

"Yeah, that was…"

"That was horrible, Kirk," she says sharply.

"Getting the smack down from your Vulcan boyfriend in front of the entire student body was no treat," he agrees.

"Do you think you didn't deserve it?"

"I… what? Of course not, there was not regulation that said I couldn't alter the programming, they were all just pissed off that I won." Jim lets out a short, harsh laugh. "Would've thought, him being a stickler for the rules and all, he'd appreciate me following the letter of the law, not accuse me of cheating."

"Letter of the… Really, Kirk? Really?"

"Really what?" he asks, put off by her tone. "Look, I just wanted to come by and see if you were ok, if you wanted some food, but…"

"I'm fine."

"I can see that," he says, his palms on his thighs as he goes to rise. He pauses, though, and finds himself saying, "you're not, though. None of us are."

"You are."

"Me?" Jim laughs. "Me? My God, Uhura. I'm a… I'm a mess. Getting sucked into an alternate reality is like a vacation after the past week. I don't know anything about that damn ship, Pike is, he's sick, he's so sick, might never walk again." Jim swallows, feeling everything rising up in him like a sweaty ball of terror he can't quite stop. "And I barely have a crew and-"

"That's just it," she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's just what?"

"You're moving on to the next new thing. You got through it all, McCoy did as well, and you're off on an adventure. You'll figure all that out, you'll get officers assigned to you if you can't find them on your own, you'll learn the ship well enough, probably sooner rather than later. Pike'll live and he'll be there for you." She shakes her head and looks away from him, drawing in a deep breath so that her shoulders rise sharply. "You're fine. You'll be great, probably, no matter how much that drives me nuts."

"You're alive, too, though. And Spock. And-"

"Gaila?"

He draws up short. "I guess… well, we don't really know yet, right?"

She just nods, her hand rising to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"It's been a while," she says quietly.

"A week isn't that long," he says but it sound hollow and she knows as well as he does that this last week has been an eternity. He watches the way she sighs into her hand and leans forward in his chair towards her. "I know you two were close," he says and then can't think of what to say next. He was close with Gaila too, but they were more like buddies who hooked up without any of the deeper connection he shares with Bones or she and Uhura have. Had.

"I'm not up for this," Uhura says abruptly, dropping her hand. "And thanks, but I'm not hungry."

"Look, I'm sorry about Gaila," Jim says quickly, before she kicks him out. "I am, really."

"Sure."

"No, I am, Uhura. And I know that with everything, with Spock – your Spock, not this Spock – it's probably been-"

"Don't talk about Spock."

"Oh, I uh…" Jim tries hard to meet her piercing stare but can't quite manage it, sliding his gaze over to her padd, instead. "Sorry. I guess it's been rough, huh? And Gaila-"

"Don't."

"Ok," he says quietly. "But look… it's going to be ok."

He sees her eyes flash and it's just so _Uhura_ that the knot of tension in his stomach releases and he wants to laugh or hug her or something, not withstanding the fact that he has three years of experience that suggests any of those actions would quite possibly result his own death, everything has been so shaky that her anger at him feels almost grounding.

"Kirk."

"No, I know, I know-"

"You don't. That's just it. You don't know and you think you do and you just-" She stands, her hands on her hips, before she just starts rubbing at her forehead and that, Jim thinks, is a million times worse. Uhura mad at him is one thing, but Uhura in some state of despondency or misery is not something he's sure he can quite deal with.

"Uhura-"

She interrupts him before he can keep speaking, her voice rising and her words coming quicker and quicker as she speaks.

"You just don't even _think_! Ever! Do you have any idea what you did to Gaila? And Spock, oh my _god_, Kirk, I have never seen him so upset and then you think, what, some adventure on a Romulan ship later it's all better between you two?"

"Well-"

"And you're just waiting for orders to come from Command so that you can ship out with your new crew and your new ship, on some new adventure and this can fade to some type of bad dream for you."

Jim opens his mouth to tell her it's not like that, that she's wrong about him wanting to go, but he can't find the words. He does want to go. Go, move, get away from Earth, hit warp speed and never look back, some childhood memory of wind in his hair and the hard roll of the road under car tires pushing him forward into the escape of space.

"Look-"

"You just waltz into people's lives, take what you need, do what you want, and then are onto the next thing, new semester, new girlfriend, new boyfriend, new internship, now a new promotion and what's probably best for you is that Spock's not coming so you don't ever have to deal with what he thinks about you, and Gaila's probably not coming back, so you can get out of that one, too."

"But I didn't mean to-"

"To treat Gaila like that?"

Jim feels his stomach sink slightly. "I-"

"And Spock? You didn't mean to say all that about his mom?"

"Well yeah, but that was… I had a reason."

"You were _there_ when his mom died, Kirk. You were in the transporter room and you saw him. And then you-" she cuts herself off and presses her lips together into a thin line.

"Yeah, but I-"

"Do you have anything to say that's not a excuse?"

"Explanation?" he tries.

"Semantics," she corrects. "I'll see you later, Kirk."

"No, but Uhura-"

"Bye."

She's facing the wall, the straight, tall line of her back as tight as he's ever seen it, and he watches her stiffen further when he steps closer to her.

"Um-"

"Please leave," she grinds out and the hitch in her voice has him stutter stepping between hightailing it out of there before he sees the impossible sight of Uhura crying and wanting to stay so he can comfort her, or at least offer himself as punching bag if it'll help.

Before he can decide, or she can decide for him, there's a chime at the door.

"Enter," she calls and Jim thinks of the fiercely intense Uhura who joined him in training sims over the years, who took her field promotion to a bridge officer in stride, and who now takes in a sharp breath as the door slides open.

Jim can't quite answer if he pushed her to it, or if the sight of Spock does, but Jim is forced to consider that Uhura might actually have a breaking point when she takes one look at Spock, mumbles that she needs a minute, and crosses to her bathroom as quick as someone can without actually running.

"What'd you two do?" Bones asks, appearing from behind Spock and throwing a frown at both of them.

But Spock's just looking at Jim, who shrugs and wants to duck out from under that piercing gaze.

"Any news?" he asks quickly.

"We were just on our way to meet up with Scotty if you two are ready," Bones says, looking back and forth between Spock watching Jim and Jim studying the wall and when Uhura reemerges, the way she looks anywhere but at Spock.

"Ready," Jim confirms when it's clear neither Spock nor Uhura are going to add much to the conversation.

Scotty's waiting for them in the conference room and he looks so familiar and gives Jim such a Scotty-ish nod of hello, that Jim can't help but look around and ask, "no Keenser?"

"Who?"

"Short. Oysterish. Kind of a smart ass."

"Don't think we have one of those, sir."

Jim's halfway to asking whether he likes sandwiches when he catches sight of Uhura's expression and forces himself to stifle the question.

"Let's get started, then," he suggests, which sounds appropriately captain-like.

"For Mr. Scott's edification, perhaps you can explain your experience over the past twenty four hours," Spock suggests.

"Or the last week," Bones cuts in. "Hold on to your hat for this one, Scotty."

Spock opens his mouth and Bones' hand shoots up.

"I am aware he's not wearing a hat, Mr. Spock."

"You possess astute observational skills, Doctor. Perhaps you shoulder consider employing them before making such illogical remarks that he hold onto something he is not in possession of."

Bones rests both elbows on the table and pushes his face into his palms.

"Is your Spock like this, Jim?"

"This is a tad bit confusing," Scotty interjects.

"You could say that again," Bones mutters, then drops his hand to stare at Spock when he opens his mouth again.

"Doctor-"

"Let's have that explanation, Jim," Bones interrupts. "Not that any story with so many Spock's is one that I need to be hearing this often."

Jim tries to lay it all out for Scotty as he did for Spock and Bones, both a crash course in all things Nero, and then what happened over the last day, judiciously leaving out all the nudity, and Uhura follows suit after him. When they're done, Scotty is squinting in thought and Bones is drumming his fingers on the table while Spock sits stock still.

"Anything odd on your end?" Jim finally asks into the silence.

"We got to Earth just fine, started necessary repairs, and everyone who had put in for shore leave went off to enjoy themselves," Scotty says slowly.

"When did you get to Earth?" Uhura asks.

"Five days ago."

"Huh," Jim says. "That's when we got back, too. What Spacedock bay are we at?"

"23-A."

"Same," Jim nods.

"It has been only five days since you returned to Earth?" Spock asks, turning towards Jim.

"Yeah it's all-" he gestures vaguely before folding his hands on the table in what he hopes is a much more professional manner. "It's been a blur. But five days, yes."

"And in that time you have assumed captaincy of the _Enterprise_?"

"I- yes," he answers and has to tamp down the urge to ask why Spock's so inquisitive about it. It's that same edge he's felt with his own Spock since he first descended the steps in the Academy Hall at Jim's hearing, that pulse of friction and tension that ran between them for the entire time they spent facing Nero together.

A time that rather abruptly ended. Jim hadn't seen him since they beamed back to Earth when the _Enterprise_ docked and despite reviewing a copy of Spock's debrief and hearing his name thrown around, Spock had been completely absent from the meetings upon meetings with the admiralty and the half dozen ceremonies and funerals Jim had been shuttled to and away from again, like a revolving door of loss and grieving families. Jim had figured that Spock had been with his family, such as it were, and had been so groggy and disoriented with everything that he hadn't wondered about where Spock had gone until his resignation had crossed Jim's desk.

He glances over at Uhura, thinking she's maybe not wrong that his mind has been wrapped up in wondering what's next, in deciding the next steps to take, in preparing for a future that his Spock – their Spock – sidestepped being a part of when he decided to leave Starfleet.

The same little flare of energy with the Spock across the table from him reminds him of a younger Spock standing next to him on the bridge as they dropped out of work, glancing over at him as they walked behind Pike to the turbolift, asking him if he was sure Jim would cover him on the _Narada_, his quiet look when they finally wrested themselves free of the last and final wormhole of the day.

"Like the Lieutenant, I also received a field promotion, which was upheld in the aftermath of the battle," he says and hears an edge creep into his voice that wasn't there earlier, but one which brings to mind a hard sprint to the bridge and Spock reminding the room Jim shouldn't have been there.

"A battle which occurred seven days ago as of today."

Jim has to actually count backwards, of one night here on this version of the _Enterprise_, two on his own, one on a hard bench at the hospital waiting for Pike to be out of surgery, and one slumped in a chair at HQ where he caught maybe fifteen minutes of sleep between giving his testimony over, and over, and the previous one spent hyped up on adrenaline as they tried to make contact with the rest of the Fleet before they limped back to Earth.

"I think," he hedges, glancing at Uhura who nods. "Yes."

"What was the admiralty's reasoning for assigning you command? You have not yet gradated from the Academy, correct?"

"I-"

"This is hardly relevant, Spock. Surely idle curiosity isn't very logical, now is it?" Bones cuts in and Jim presses his lips together, looking at the way Bones is watching Spock like a hawk and the way Spock settles back in his chair.

"I admit to a certain intrigue with the decision making process," Spock says and all Jim can hear is the scoff a different Spock gave when Pike promoted him to first officer.

"Look, I-" he starts again, feeling something in his chest grow hot and jumpy. To his surprise he feels a soft hand on his forearm and looks down to see that it belongs to Uhura.

"McCoy's right, let's have this discussion later," she says gently, her eyes fixed on Spock even as she squeezes Jim's arm before her hand slides away again.

He fumbles for a memory of when Uhura's touched him, if ever, and looks down again at the imprint her fingers left on his sleeve.

"So, then, what's the news of the day?" Bones asks, leaning his elbow on the table and looking around at everyone. "Any findings in the ship's logs, Spock?"

"Nothing abnormal to report," Spock says and Jim feels his stomach sink. Lodged somewhere in the back of his mind, near the part that is busy denying any of this is even happening, is the part that's becoming increasingly frantic at the lack of anything happening to rectify their sudden appearance in this other universe. It's hard to admit to himself just how badly he wanted some reading to stick out, or some unexplained anomaly that would lead to a clue that would get them home, even if this conference room looks exactly the same as on the on his _Enterprise_ so that if he squints and doesn't look at Spock, he could just be home.

"Mr. Scott?" Jim asks, forcing his voice to remain even.

"Standard repairs are still being effected, sir," Scotty reports. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Do we know if whatever happened… this slip through realities or whatever, is just us? Is there a possibility this is happening to other people on other ships, or on Earth as well?" Jim asks.

"No reports have come in," Spock says.

"We haven't reported this to Command ourselves, unless I'm mistaken," Jim points out and watches Spock pause, and then nod.

"That is accurate."

"So we don't know, then," Jim says slowly. "Mr. Spock, put the word out will you? Quietly, not to arouse suspicion since the last thing I want to do is have Uhura and me shipped to some secret, secure holding area if we're not exactly supposed to be here."

"Starfleet does not have such holding facilities," Spock smoothly interjects.

"Which is exactly what I thought until I spent a day that lasted a lifetime in one," Jim says, thinking of the blank walls and the blanker faces of the security team. Assigned to keep him safe in the aftermath of such a disaster, but Jim couldn't help but think they were just there to keep him put until Starfleet could begin his debrief. "What other ships are here at Spacedock?"

"The _Potekim_, the _Antares_, _Farragut_, a handful of others," Bones says.

"The same as were at Earth and not in the-"

"Let me guess, Laurential system?" Bones asks and Jim and Uhura both nod. "Seems like things are more similar than not."

"But it's not… you're ten years ahead of us." Jim rubs at his forehead. "This doesn't really make any sense."

"They didn't have Nero come through twenty five years ago," Uhura points out. "Might have rushed things for us."

"Rushed what, though?" Bones asks.

"The universe putting itself back together, making things as it should be," Jim says, his eyes sliding over to Spock. "That was what you wanted, anyway."

"Pardon?"

"A different you. Or maybe…" Jim trails off, staring at Spock for a long moment, who just steadily returns his gaze. "Is… is my father alive? He is, right? I was supposed to be visiting him?"

"Indeed," Spock nods.

"Uhura, do you think this is them?" Jim asks and then points to Spock. "Is that him? I kind of figured this was just another _Enterprise_ in another, parallel universe, but what if it's not? We had a Spock come through a wormhole, and what if that Spock is… this Spock?"

"Maybe," she says slowly, her head tipped to the side and a furrow between her brows. "I don't know, we don't really have enough information. And there are significant differences. They don't have Keenser, we do."

"We don't have Chapel."

"Who?" Uhura asks.

"Oh, I think you'd like her, she didn't have much patience for me," Jim says and is quite proud of nearly making Uhura smile.

"Either way, that doesn't explain what's happening."

"Or it does," Jim interjects. "What if this is all part of it? The other Spock – the old one, I mean," Jim starts, feeling pieces start to slip together for him. "He talked about timelines healing themselves and the way things were meant to be. A lot of this was afterwards, after everything I saw him back at HQ since the admiralty were all over him. But he… he was adamant that there was a way things were supposed to turn out."

"That doesn't explain why only you and I are here, Kirk," Uhura says. "Or where this reality's us are."

"Think we swapped with them?" Jim asks.

"Possibly," Spock answers. "It is equally likely that they have moved into a third alternate reality, and the Kirk and Uhura moved from that reality to a forth, and so on, swapping throughout a number of parallel universes."

"Maybe," Jim says slowly, "but if we can pinpoint this as a specific universe, wouldn't that help us know if it's a simple trade or something more complex?"

"Kirk, if this is the Spock that came to our universe," Uhura starts, "why didn't he tell you about this?"

"Unless for some reason he chose not to say anything, or hasn't said anything yet," Jim answers.

"Wouldn't we would have to know something very specific about this older Spock's universe to be able to determine if this is that one?" Scotty asks.

"Romulus' sun," Uhura says suddenly, sitting up straighter. "Whatever caused it to go supernova wouldn't be able to be picked up on normal sensor scans or the Romulan Empire would have known about it long before it was a problem, so it must have been an anomaly. Stars can be unstable, right? So if in your reality – or at least the Spock who we met's reality – something atypical happened to the star in that system-"

"And if we could find that anomaly in this reality, then we could prove that Romulus' sun will go supernova and that it is, indeed, a trade between universes and not a more complex swap," Spock finishes for her.

"That can't be picked up by normal sensors, though," Bones says, leaning forward in his chair. "That's what Uhura just said."

"But if we know we're looking for something strange…" Scotty starts and then is up and out of his chair, the door hissing open and shut behind him.

"I will assist Mr. Scott," Spock says, standing as well and following him out.

"Well then," Bones says, leaning back in his chair. "Glad they have all that covered… you two want to get dinner?"

"I'm fine," Uhura says, rising from her own chair. "See you both later."

"Jim?"

"I'm, um…" Jim trails off, watching Uhura leave the conference room and turn the other direction than Spock and Scotty just took.

"She ok?"

"I don't even know."

"It's a lot to take in," Bones says gently. "For you and for her."

"Yeah, but I'm fine," Jim says, which is kind of a lie but in terms of Uhura constantly wanting to be alone, Jim is much more fine than she is. The thought of Uhura going back to her quarters while he has dinner with Bones makes Jim scrub his hand across his forehead. "It's just that it seems like she doesn't even want to talk to anyone."

"Maybe she doesn't have anyone to talk to," Bones suggests.

"She certainly doesn't want to talk to me."

"Jim," Bones says quietly, nodding over at where Uhura just was.

"But-"

"Go."

Uhura's halfway down the hall when Jim catches up with her.

"You alright?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok." Jim walks next to her in silence for as long as he can until he has to talk again. "Do you really think this is them?"

She shrugs, not slowing down in her pace as he falls into step beside her. "I don't know."

Jim rubs his hand over his face, pinching his mouth in his palm before dropping his hand. "Are we going to, like, blink out of existence if it is? Isn't this just us warning Spock about the sun going supernova so they can solve the problem now and he never shoots off the red matter and never appears in our own timeline?"

"I don't know," Uhura says again. "He's the expert at theoretical physics, not me. Ask him. And if this is him, then for whatever reason things still work out that our universe was created."

"No way, he hates me. And what was all that back there? When you told Spock to knock it off with the questions about me being captain?"

"What? Oh." She turns to glance at him, then starts to walk quicker so he has to half jog to catch her again. "You two push each other's buttons and I didn't want you to get into it right then, not if we could talk about getting us home."

"Yeah, well, Spock doesn't like me," Jim says. "Either Spock." But even as he says it, he thinks about the older Spock he met, the one who called him a friend, the one who seemed so sure that he would end up friends with a younger version of himself.

"I'm pretty sure this Spock likes you just fine," Uhura is saying even as he remembers the warmth with which the elder Spock greeted him.

"Does that bother you?" Jim asks, honestly curious. "That's weird, right?"

He sees a small stutter in her stride and it's enough of a tell.

"No."

"It does, doesn't it." She does that thing she's perfected over the last three years of making him feel like he's annoying her without actually saying or doing anything and he sighs. "Look it's not like it means anything, right?"

"Spock and I didn't get along when we first met, you know."

That draws Jim up short, so that for the third time that night he's chasing after her down the corridor.

"Is this my big chance to find out how you two got together, cause I can go grab a notepad, or maybe a recording device or something so I never forget this."

"Do you ever take anything seriously?" she sighs.

"I… no. Yes. Sometimes." He steps in front of her, waling backwards so she can't get around him, which he knows is obnoxious and can almost see Bones frowning at him for doing it, in this universe or another one. Any one, probably. "Go back to the you and Spock thing."

She sighs again and Jim considers asking her if her average number of sighs per day skyrockets when she's around him, then reconsiders when he realizes that while she just signed on for a mission as one of his chief staff members, it's probably not too late for her to back out. If they get home. When, he tells himself, when.

"Fine, if you're dying to know. I really, really wanted to take his class my first semester at the Academy, but obviously hadn't done any of the prerequisites," she starts and Jim starts to smile when he sees one tug at her own mouth. It's the first time he's seen her anything less than despondent over the last week – or maybe longer, ever since he badgered her into a third go round on the Kobayshi Maru. She sighed at him then, too, which makes him smile even more.

"I'm listening," he promises and he is, probably more attentively to this than most other things in his life. Juicy details about her and Spock aside, Uhura has opened up to him exactly zero times in the last three years and Jim doesn't know if her telling him all of this is a sign of one more thing that changed in the wake of Nero, or whether Bones was simply right that she's craving some to talk to.

"Well, I was this hot headed, completely green cadet and I figured I could convince him. And I did, eventually, since he finally caved when I argued that prerequisites are only one way to determine a student's readiness for a class but that logically, there are others and that it is close minded to pigeonhole yourself without considering those alternatives."

"You two are an adorable couple."

"Shut up Kirk. Anyway, it wasn't exactly the best foot to get off on, and it was like that all semester. He was incredibly, overly tough on me, way more so than on any other student and I figured hey, whatever, he wants me to prove myself, so I started going to his office hours and would just argue and argue with him. And, long story, but he would basically do the same thing to me that he did to you tonight, with the questions that just make you feel like a five year old sitting at the grown ups table."

"And?"

"And what, Kirk?"

"You're leaving out all the good bits about how you went from intellectual rivals with astounding sexual chemistry-"

"Kirk!"

"-to being madly in love for the last three and a half years. Let's hear it."

"No."

"Ok, I'll do it. Let me think… you turn in your last final, probably go to his office ten minutes later to see if he's graded it – which he has, naturally – and what starts as a conversation about your essay ends up as-"

"My point is," she says heavily and Jim thinks that only having dated a Vulcan for so many years gives her the kind of control possible to not roll her eyes at him, which she so clearly wants to. "That you and this Spock, and our Spock… well, you two do that too. Why are just you and me the ones who are here, Kirk? As weird as it is, it just so happens that you and I have something in common."

"Yeah but trust me, I don't want to…" Jim trails off and makes a gesture that is, all things considered, far more polite than it could be. Of course, right then his traitorous brain chooses to remind him of a very naked, very toned Spock in bed next to him and Jim knows Uhura can see the way he flushes when her lips press together. "Well, whatever. I don't, though."

"I just don't think it's that far fetched an idea," Uhura says diplomatically since she has the ability to actually be an adult about things.

"I can't believe you think your own boyfriend would end up with someone else."

"Kirk, were you listening to what I said?"

"Um-"

"I'm not saying you two are going to end up together, I'm saying that you get under his skin and that's rare. And I wouldn't be surprised if it speaks, someday, to a deeper connection between the two of you."

"And he's going to end up best friends with Bones, too, then?"

She shrugs. "I frankly wouldn't be surprised. There's a lot of people – most people in fact – who make basically no impression on him, at all. Period. He just works with them and when whatever project is over, he's done, doesn't mention them again, or even at all sometimes, even if he works with them all day for months. And you-" She shakes her head, her ponytail dragging across her shoulder. "I heard about you, Jim Kirk, for the three nights in a row between your last Maru sim and the hearing."

"He was upset I beat his test," Jim says and can't quite help the satisfied note that creeps into his tone.

"It wasn't that," Uhura says and the fondness that colored her voice when she spoke about Spock is gone, replaced with a hard edge that makes his stomach drop. "He was livid – _livid_ – Kirk over what you did to Gaila."

"But he's Vulcan," Jim points out which makes Uhura close her eyes for a long moment as she takes a deep breath, visibly calming herself.

"You don't know a lot about Vulcans, then."

"I… no. I don't."

"You made him more upset than I'd ever seen him with what you did to Gaila."

"I didn't-"

"Do know – which you don't because you were not someone Gaila exactly wanted to spend much time _talking_ to – how close she and Spock are? Were. Shit. Whatever. And when you did that to her… consider it a precursor to what happened after you said all that about his mom."

"But with all of that, I-"

"I'm sorry," she says, coming to an abrupt halt, her hair swinging with the sudden halt in motion and Jim actually takes a step back from her. "I'm sorry, did you just try to excuse yourself for insulting his relationship with his mother _hours_ after he watched her die?"

"_He_ told me to. Older him, you know, the other, other Spock!"

"And you thought that was a good idea?" she asks, her voice so quiet and low that it makes the hairs on the back of Jim's neck stand up.

"I- wait, let's go back to the part of tonight where you were being nice to me," he tries, then grimaces when her eyes flash. "Ok, ok. Look, I didn't know all that about him and Gaila. And I really thought that I was doing the right thing – and I was doing the right thing, we won, right? All that stuff with his mom? It worked, didn't it?"

"Do you have any idea what that did to him?" she snaps, her jaw and throat tight around the words. "No, you don't. Maybe you'll learn this as a captain: Starfleet, in fact, does not revolve around you."

"I know," he says, but it sound petulant even to him.

"Act like it," she suggests.

Jim watches her walk away and doesn't follow her this time, just listens to the sharp click of her boots on the floor and the harsh line of her shoulders until she turns a corner and disappears out of view.


	5. Chapter 5

_Act like it_, Jim hears over and over as he kicks at his blankets.

_Act like it_, Uhura's voice repeats in his head every time he tries to close his eyes.

_Act like it_, he hears as a whisper when he finally throws the covers back and sets both feet on the floor, his elbows on his knees as he leans forward and scrubs at his face.

Pike used to say something similar to them during command seminars. No matter what you're thinking or feeling, and no matter what you want to do, act like a captain, he would say, pacing across the front of the lecture hall.

It was a lesson that training sims hammered home time and time again when Jim had to execute space jumps and try to keep his crew's moral up even when he wanted to wet himself at the thought of flinging himself out of a shuttle craft towards a planet's gravity well, or when exercises kept them up for days at a time, past the point of endurance, and while the science cadets or ops cadets could get snappy and shrill from the exhaustion, Jim had been held to a different standard.

Pike also used to say that command was nothing more than a gold shirt. Jim hadn't understood that for a long time and still didn't, not really, though he started noticing the way people would react when Pike walked into a room, every eye turning towards him as if the rank stripes on Pike's sleeve carried a weight that was as much, or more than the man himself.

Pike's very presence dictated people take him seriously and Jim was fairly certain he could walk around in a Halloween costume and people would still ask him for their orders, but he has to admit that even in this alternate reality, and even being what amounts to a completely different man than the Jim Kirk who lives and works on this ship, his captain's shirt and the title still afford him deference from the crew, even if he has none of the qualifications of his older self.

And it's that exact lack of qualifications that makes Uhura's words bounce around in his head until he wants to bang it against a bulkhead to make it stop.

It doesn't help that after being left in the hall by her, he went down to Engineering, only to find Scotty and Spock deep at work over equipment that Jim had never seen before. He doesn't know if it's because – as Spock so helpfully pointed out in front of Bones, Scotty, and Uhura – he hasn't technically graduated yet and his training is rather incomplete, or whether in the intervening ten years between his _Enterprise_ and this one some advancements have been made or what, but after they both gave him a cursory nod before slipping back into a silence that seemed to bother neither of them as they were working as efficiently as ever, he had been at a loss for what to do.

The other Jim, the older one, probably would have known, would have had something to add to the proceedings and could have made himself useful. As it was, Jim hadn't exactly wanted to just hover but he hadn't wanted to leave, either, not with the two of them working on a way to figure out what was going on, so he had awkwardly paced for a bit before finally mumbling something about food and showing himself out.

He hadn't eaten, though, just checked Sickbay for Bones, who wasn't there. Jim had seriously considered going to Bones' quarters but instead had gone back to his own, poking through his older self's stuff until he had finally fallen into bed to try to sleep.

_Act like it_, he thinks again and sighs, pushing his breath out through his nose and closing his eyes.

That's just the problem, he thinks, staring over at the wall in the direction of Uhura's quarters. He's always just acted like himself and for years that led to terrible decision after terrible decision until finally his impulsiveness led him to a bar where he met Uhura and Pike and a shuttle where he met Bones. That had, in so many ways, been the best choice he had ever made and since then, things seemed to just fall into place for him.

In Starfleet, being himself meant that he had been right that he could do the Academy in three years and while it was hard to cram extra classes in, he thrived on the challenge. It also meant that his lucky guesses and recklessness seemed to generally pay off in training sims and he had risen to the top of his class. Being himself had landed him on the _Enterprise_'s bridge when they dropped out of warp over Vulcan and he hadn't thought twice about that sprint up from the communications bay, McCoy and Uhura hot on his heels as they yelled at him to stop.

Now, being himself means that he got to keep his captaincy and he is, despite a jangle of nerves, beyond excited about it.

He looks in the direction of Uhura's quarters again and can't help but wish that that excitement wasn't tempered by her resounding lack of faith in him.

He spent three years yearning for her approval, three years begging her to be his comm officer during sims, three years plopping down next to her in the library and stubbornly refusing to move until she sighed, loudly, and resumed her own work.

There had been moments over the years that she had softened slightly which just made him try harder, once when she had missed a class due to some family thing and Jim had slipped her a copy of his notes and she had nearly smiled at him. Another time, Gaila lost most of a program she had spent weeks writing for some advanced computer sciences class and Jim had done some rather illegal maneuvering among Starfleet's archived backups to get it back. Uhura had excused herself far more politely than normal when Jim and Gaila wanted to… celebrate. And, Jim doesn't think he'll ever forget the sound of her footsteps approaching him the after his first Kobayashi Maru when he had been hoping the captain's chair would swallow him up whole and she had just looked at him until he finally stood and followed her back to the changing rooms. She hadn't said anything, but McCoy – who had had class and hadn't been able to be there – was waiting for him after he showered with a bottle of brandy and in no need of an explanation from Jim.

Uhura, who backed him up about the destroyed Klingon armada to Pike and Spock, and Uhura whose voice crackled over the comms for the majority of the shitshow that had been that mission, and Uhura who had added her name to the bridge officer duty roster, knowing full well he'd be her captain.

He's on his feet and moving before he quite knows what he's doing, which is good because if he actually stops to think about this, he'll in all likelihood turn right back around rather than continue to push her buttons.

"Why did you agree to come on the _Enterprise_ with me?" he asks, still out of breath from his jog down the corridors when her door slides open. "You hate me, you're constantly tired of my shit and it's like pulling teeth for you to have worked with me at all for the last three years, and yet you're signing up for more?"

She takes a step back from him and he doesn't exactly blame her since he's in sweatpants and an undershirt and he's sure his hair is sticking up, so he can only imagine what this seems like to her, showing up at her door like this in the middle of the night.

"You don't like me," he says again, stepping into the space she just vacated so that she moves back again, the door hissing shut behind them.

"It's the _Enterprise_," she says likes that's all the explanation she needs to give and it probably is, since the ship – his ship, he still has to shake himself to remember that – is enough to put the dream of stars into any Starfleet officer's mind. "And I don't hate you."

"You sigh like a million times a day whenever I'm with you."

She looks like she wants to sigh now, but just grimaces instead. "You're… you, Kirk. And for the record, I won't let it effect my professionalism and I'm sorry if it's done so already, I'll correct that immediately."

"No, no, it's…" he digs his toe into the carpet in frustration, suddenly aware that she's still in her uniform and he's in pajamas and barefoot. "This Bones said you and I are friends. The other you and me."

"I heard him," she says carefully.

"So."

"So?"

"Then we're supposed to end up being friends, if this reality is the one that ours is, you know, trying to emulate."

"Ok," Uhura shrugs.

"Just 'ok'? What does that even mean?"

"Maybe ten years from now we'll end up being friends," Uhura says. "And I joined the _Enterprise_ because I was offered a senior position on the flagship. I'd be an idiot to turn that down, no matter who the captain is."

Her words sting, even though Jim's sure they aren't meant to. He knows she's just being honest, since it's half the reason that he accepted command himself: when else would this opportunity come around, and why suffer through the Academy if you weren't going to grab every chance for a promotion and hold on with two hands.

Still, he can't help but wish that her answer was a little less… logical, and he won't kid himself that it would have done him some good to think that maybe, just maybe, her accepting her position had something to do with him.

"No matter who the captain is," he repeats softly. "Yeah, sure."

"If it's any consolation, they offered me my position before they offered you yours. I didn't choose it because of your or despite you. I took it because I want to be up there, Kirk, and I promise I'll do right by it."

Jim's not sure if it's a consolation or not because he's still stuck on the meaning of her words.

"How do you know that?" he asks but as soon as he says it, he knows. "They offered it to Spock, didn't they. They wanted him to be captain."

Uhura nods, her mouth tight and Jim feels his stomach sink down towards his boots.

"He should've taken it," he mutters, sinking into a chair and resting his forehead in his hand. Of course Spock was Starfleet's first choice, of course he was and Jim doesn't know why he didn't see that sooner. Spock was Pike's first officer and probably involved for the entirety of the ship's construction and more than capable of stepping into command with an ease that just highlights how Jim has blundered through the last week with a barely staffed bridge crew and more than once – though he's loathe to admit it – getting lost. He feels his cheeks burn at the memory of climbing through Jeffries' tubes that, no matter how well he memorized the schematics, all end up looking the same.

"Spock has never wanted command, otherwise he'd already be a captain," Uhura says and Jim nods because he knows it's true enough. Spock could probably – not, not probably, definitely – do anything he wants to and even in Jim's brief acquaintance with the man, and then meeting this Spock here, it's more than obvious that he's capable of anything he puts that enormous Vulcan mind to. Including, no doubt, dating the one woman at the Academy that Jim is sure no less than 75% of the population at some point has been in love with.

"So he turned them down," Jim says, even though it's funny to articulate the idea of anyone, even Spock, turning down command of the flagship.

"Well, while he thought it over, they offered me the position on the bridge," Uhura says and Jim doesn't think he's inventing the rueful tone in her voice.

"What?"

"Then he turned them down," she confirms and sounds half amused now. The other half just sounds pissed. "He was not pleased."

"They tried to sweeten the deal by assuring you both your field promotion would stick?"

"Yep," she confirms, sinking onto the edge of her bed.

"Were you mad?"

"Yep."

"I'd be pissed to have Command pull something like that, throwing favoritism around, and to a Vulcan, especially."

"Um."

"Um, what?" Jim asks.

"Um as in McCoy snuck you on to the _Enterprise _because he's your buddy. A 'do you really hate favoritism' 'um'. That type of 'um'."

"Yeah, but-"

"Do you think you can get through a conversation with making a single excuse?" Uhura asks and Jim hears that familiar edge creep back into her tone.

"Uh, no."

"Thought not," she sighs.

"There. You just sighed again."

"You're so you, Kirk. It can be exhausting."

"You can go commiserate with Bones. And hey, this Spock, too. And your Spock." She frowns and Jim half grins at her before the smile slips from his face. "Old Spock liked me."

"What is with your need to be liked?"

Jim shrugs off the question since it hits way to close to home. Literally, it reeks of Riverside, Iowa and the half vacant look in his mom's eyes that she wore most of the time around him.

"You still took Command's offer to be comm officer," he says, trying to steer her back around to his original reason for barging in on her again.

"I did."

"Even though they offered it to you to try to get your boyfriend to stick around the 'Fleet."

"Tha's true."

"Because it's the _Enterprise_," Jim says and he thinks that maybe it is ok that with him that she chose the position for the sake of the ship, especially if she didn't back out when it became clear he'd be the captain.

"Look, Spock spent our entire relationship terrified that someone would treat me differently because we were dating, that they wouldn't take me seriously or would assume I slept my way into some position and he had this immediate, knee-jerk reaction against that."

"That's kind of sweet," Jim says, grinning at her.

"Sure," she says, waving it off. "Also, annoying. And then Command goes and says to him, if you're not leaping at the chance to captain the _Enterprise_, and we put your girlfriend on board, how about then? He was never going to take it anyway, but that pretty much sealed the deal for him."

"Were you upset that he turned it down?"

For the first time, she hesitates. "It's not a good week to be upset at Spock, Kirk."

"I'd be pretty upset if my boyfriend refused a position where we could work together."

"He was never going to take it in the first place," she says again and her voice is much harder than how soft it gets when she talks about Spock.

Jim has never been anything less than an excellent judge of people. "You were totally pissed. Are pissed. So you took the position anyway, since you're right, you'd be an idiot not to, and since no matter what Spock's reacting to, you're obviously qualified for it, way more so than that guy-"

"-Hawkins-"

"-Hawkins, right, and, let me guess, you made the choice for you and Spock as to whether you were also going to resign and go with him to the colony."

She frowns at him and he suddenly wishes he hadn't pushed it, not when she's actually talking to him again.

"First of all, damn right I'm qualified and sure, I'm upset that the job offer came the way it did, but I would have fought for the position anyway. And it's not like they rescinded it when Spock turned them down, they want me up there and that's where I intend to be. "

"Good."

"Second," she says sharply, giving him a look for interrupting her. "This is not gossip hour, Kirk. I answered why I chose my position, which you have some amount of right to know as my commanding officer, and if you disagree with Command about my role –"

"-I don't-"

"-Or about the way I got the job-"

"-They sound kind of like assholes, not that I want you to repeat that, but for them to manipulate both of you like that-"

"-Beyond all of that, my personal life is personal."

"Did you guys break up?" Jim asks, leaning forward in his chair.

"Personal."

"You did, didn't you."

The muscles around her eyes and mouth tighten. "No."

Jim glances around her quarters, at her neatly made bed that she obviously hasn't slept in yet tonight, at the stiff way she's holding herself, at how orderly and tidy everything is… except for that same padd that was out earlier, now sitting on her desk.

"Whatcha writing?" he asks, his eyes flicking from it back to her, taking a gamble that the blinking cursor is still there.

"None of your business."

"You're right, it's not," he says with a slow nod. "But, after three years you might know how I like my coffee, and I know that you, being the wordsmith that you are, often organize your thoughts best by writing them down. Especially for a sticky subject."

The way her eyes slide to the padd before she visibly makes herself straighten her shoulders tells him everything he needs to know.

"If you didn't already break up, are you thinking about it?"

"I do not want to talk about it."

Figuring out people is a game to Jim, one he loves, but the rush of knowing he's right is immediately tempered by how wet Uhura's eyes are.

"Oh my god, don't cry," he says hurriedly. "Stop, stop it right now."

"Fuck you," she mutters, sniffing harshly and tipping her head back to blink at the ceiling.

A lot of things click into place in the moments in which she struggles not to let any tears fall, a battle she eventually loses as she wipes angrily at her cheeks. Not the least of which is her seemingly cavalier attitude towards the idea of this Spock and the other Jim dating. Not cavalier, exactly, but less of a shock to her than it could have been.

"It's not that you think Spock and I are meant to be together in some sort of universe affirming way, but that you're not sure that you and Spock are," Jim says quietly.

"God, just shut up, Kirk, I don't need relationship counseling from you of all people."

"Why do I get the feeling that if Gaila were still around you'd be in your jammies and halfway through a bottle of tequila and a gallon of ice cream with her as you try to sort out what to do about the fact you're royally pissed at your long-term boyfriend for leaving you, and yet you're not sure you're allowed to be mad at him because his planet just went tits up and his mom ate it?" Uhura just glares at him and sniffs and Jim lets a rueful grin slide over his face. "Let me guess, to top it all off, he definitely doesn't want to break up because you're the only good thing he has going in his life and he probably has himself convinced that he can maintain a relationship with you while doing his duty to rebuild his species – which has all sorts of holes in that type of logic, not to be crass –"

"-You're always crass-"

"- I am, it's a skill I'm proud of." Jim slides off his chair onto his knees and moves close enough that, kneeling in front of her, he could reach out and touch her if he didn't want all of his fingers broken. "He hurt you, but you don't feel right breaking up with him."

"I hate you," she says which makes Jim grin.

"I'm right. I'm good at being crass and I'm good at guessing this type of stuff. And, also, I bet that a big part of it is that you want to end the relationship now before it just crashes and burns, either from long distance or the inevitable realization that new baby Vulcans mean some boot knocking from adult Vulcans."

"I really, really hate you."

"Sounds like he's kind of an idiot under all the genius," Jim says gently. "And that he put you in a tough spot and probably, I'm guessing, may not have realized that."

It's that last part that makes Uhura's lip tremble again and Jim guesses – and is pretty sure he's right about this, too – that nobody all week, or probably for months to come, will be telling Uhura she's allowed to actually feel something herself and doesn't need to keep pushing that aside for the team that is Spock.

"Fuck, stop crying, that's an order, Lieutenant," he says, letting her hear the joke in his voice.

"Fuck you," she whispers.

"Come on, you're supposed to be all scary and strong and shit," he pleads but knows she can see his smile. "Isn't that the party line? Lieutenant Uhura isn't supposed to ever get upset or it'll make her seem anything less than the strong, capable woman she is?"

"And what about you?" she asks, wiping her eyes on her wrist.

"I'll tell you a secret that I'm a fucking wreck," he says, dropping his voice. "But only if you don't tell anyone, ever, since I'm supposed to be this big, in control captain and about eighty percent of the time I have no idea what I'm doing."

"You always know what you're doing."

"You really think that?" he asks, her words warming something down deep inside of himself.

"Seems like," she shrugs. "It always works out, doesn't it?"

"Huh."

"Drives me nuts," she adds, giving him a watery smile.

At that moment, the comm chimes and Scotty's voice cuts through her quarters telling her to come to the transporter room as soon as possible.

"On our way," Jim answers for her and Uhura raises an eyebrow at him in a way that makes Jim think of all the time she must have spent with Spock. "What?" he drawls. "Think they think we've been doing it?"

"Oh just shut up."

"Shut up, sir," he corrects, rocking himself from his knees back onto his heels and standing. "C'mon, I gotta get changed then let's go down together."

She waits in his quarters while he gets dressed in his bathroom and when he reemerges, she turns from studying his bookshelf to regard him with a shrewd expression.

"Look," he says, smoothing his hands down his chest and stomach. "I found this awesome green shirt."

"I can… see that."

"You don't like it?" he asks, spinning to look in the mirror again.

"I didn't know that command shirts come in green."

"Yeah, cool, huh? I'll have to recommend it to our own quartermasters. I wonder if they'll go for it."

"I can't imagine why not."

"Think I can sneak it back home?"

"We can only hope," Uhura says, shaking her head but Jim's pretty sure he catches a glimpse of a tiny smile.

He starts for the door, when he feels a hand catch his sleeve.

"You love this shirt," he tells her, looking down at where she's snagged the fabric.

"Thanks."

He gives her a long look before saying. "Thanks, Jim."

Her mouth twitches and he gives it a fifty fifty shot of either a smile or a frown.

"I though it was 'sir'."

"Nah, my patented relationship advice is all 'Jim'." She presses her lips together and he pokes her arm with a finger. "Don't sigh."

He makes a show of staring at her too closely all the way to the transporter room, daring her to sigh at him just so he can make a big deal out of it, which has the desired effect of making her mouth curve in a tiny smile.

He's so preoccupied with how warm and happy that makes him feel, the notion that he may actually have cheered her up that what he sees on the transporter pad doesn't quite register the first time he looks at it.

When it does and he takes in the man who could be his older brother Sam, except he looks way too much like Jim himself, and a woman who is Uhura's twin except for shorter hair, he just elbows Uhura in the ribs for lack of any better reaction and turns to her, saying, "good thing we're friends now, because the more the merrier."


	6. Chapter 6

After that, Jim quickly runs out of things to say, which turns out to be fine because nobody else in the room is exactly at their most talkative.

"I like your hair," the older Uhura finally says, stepping down off the transporter pad.

"Thanks," Jim's Uhura says quickly and Jim watches the two women look at each other for a long moment, while everyone else looks at them too.

Eventually, the room snaps back into action, for better or for worse since even as Jim's thinking of the appropriate thing to say to himself, the older man steps off the platform and, with a quick glance at Jim, walks right past him.

"Spock?" he asks quietly and whatever the reply is, it's too soft for Jim to hear. "Spock!" he says again and out of the corner of his eye, Jim sees him grasp Spock by the upper arms.

"Well, that worked," Scotty says, frowning down at the transporter console. "Sort of."

"Jim Kirk," the older man says, turning towards him and holding out his hand. Jim's not sure if it's an introduction or if he's being told his own name, and is fighting an urge to just duck out of the room, so it takes him a moment to step forward and grasp the offered hand in his own, wondering even as he does so whether they'll like disappear in a puff of smoke due to universe ending paradoxes. But they don't disappear, which would have saved him the trouble of actually speaking to a man who is… himself, just older, wiser, more confident and all around everything Jim is not entirely sure he has it in himself to ever be.

The hand he shakes is firm and powerful, and he forces himself to grin and say, "like looking in a mirror."

It earns him a nod that he counts as a resounding success considering his track record with authority figures, and the captain turns towards the two Uhuras.

"Glad to see you're in one piece. Both of you, that is."

Uhura – Jim's Uhura, which he immediately decides is going to give him a migraine just about any minute now - just gives the older Jim a slight smile.

"I guess we established that it was a simple swap of two universes, then?" she asks and Scotty steps from behind his console to answer her.

"Aye, the Commander and I were just finishing our calculations on Romulus' star when the transporter started receiving an oscillating reverse polarity signal-"

"-A what?" Bones asks, stepping into the room and crowding the small space with yet another person. "Jim!"

"Bones, good to be back."

"Good to have you back," Bones nods and looks back and forth between the older captain and Jim. "Not that I don't need a hypo for my blood pressure with the two of you running around here. Thanks for not grabbing the other Spock while you were at it or I'd just check myself into Sickbay now and leave Chapel to deal with all of you."

"Not a danger of that," the older man says easily and Jim doesn't think he's imagining the way that Uhura's face fall slightly, nor the mounting pressure in his own stomach when he sees how easy and happy the other crew look now that their own captain and comm officer is back. Jim has hope for his crew to grow in to a similar camaraderie but it gnaws at him to know that despite the older Spock's words that Jim was destined to form a friendship with Spock, as well as the clear affection between Jim's counterpart and this Spock, he may never have that chance.

"How's our universe?" Jim asks, shaking himself out of his reverie. "Everyone alright over there?"

"Everyone's great. That seventeen year old version of Chekov you guys have managed to finagle the transporter beam into something that could get us back home." The older man starts towards the door, glancing back over his shoulder and issuing orders with a calm that Jim studies carefully. "Get our Chekov to Conference Room A with all of the rest of you. Sulu as well for good measure, and we'll meet there in five. I need a minute to get re-oriented."

Jim watches him head down the corridor to what, until five minutes ago, were Jim's quarters and he's busy trying to decide if it's weird that he's been wearing the other man's underwear, but it's really his own underwear, just future underwear in an alternate reality, when he feels Uhura step up beside him.

She is either aces at pretending not to notice Spock following the captain down the hall,

or she knows better than to look because she just waits beside Jim, studying him as the two men walk away.

"This is kind of weird," he says softly as they fall into step behind the other Uhura, Bones, and Scotty on their way to the conference room. Uhura's gaze turns towards her short-haired twin and she just nods without speaking.

The other Jim and Spock duck back into the conference room right before Chekov and Sulu get there as well.

The Ensign and Lieutenant look around, wide eyed and Jim thinks it's probably one thing for them to have heard some crazy rumors about him and Uhura, versus seeing two Captain Kirks and two Lieutenant Uhuras in the flesh.

"Sir," Chekov says hesitantly, looking back and forth between Jim and his counterpart, obviously unsure who to address that to. He finally just sinks into a chair rather than come to a firm conclusion as to which is right. Sulu follows him, sitting slowly and the rest of them do as well.

"We made it back, but we have a significant problem," the older Jim says, clasping his hands on the table after he quickly fills in Sulu and Chekov.

"Before we get into that," Bones interrupts even as Uhura and Jim trade looks and Jim feels a shiver crawl up his spine at the thought of what this problem might be. "Did you all figure out what caused this?"

"Their universe is still unstable from the new rifts in the time-space continuum," the other Uhura explains. "It seems that it just… sucked us into it and pushed them over here."

"Never heard of such a thing," Bones mutters. "And what is this problem, Jim?" he asks, leaning forward in his chair and Jim can't help but feel something tighten inside of him at the sight of Bones staring at someone else with that same intensity that he's given to Jim over the last three years.

He steels himself, talks himself down from that because as similar as they are, this isn't his Bones. His Bones is out there somewhere and it just makes Jim's head spin with how ready to get home he is.

"The other Chekov and the other Scotty were able to modify their transporter based on the temporal signature we left behind when we slid into their universe. By mimicking that and boosting the phase actuator-"

"-They were able to reproduce the anomaly while also reversing the effects," Spock finishes for him and Jim glances between the two of them, something hard settling in his stomach at the easy teamwork that he had the briefest glimpse of with his own Spock.

"We couldn't even pick up any signs of our arrival on scans in this universe," Jim points out, "and yet you were able to hone in on our temporal signature?"

"Yes, and that's just it. Some of your tech," the captain says, waving to Jim and Uhura, who's sitting next to him, her pony tail draped over one shoulder like a reminder of everything that's different. "Is far, far more advanced than ours. Not all of it, but there's some major differences."

"I noticed that," Jim nods, gesturing to a padd.

"I took the time to look at your history texts," Uhura says and Jim files it away so that he can at some point in the future rib her about the time they slid into an alternate universe and she did _homework_. "It looks like the big push Starfleet made in the wake of the Kelvin towards R and D, as well as recruitment for weapons specialists and engineers never happened in this universe."

"What's the purpose of your Federation, then?" Sulu asks.

"The charter is the same but we're more… militarized, it seems. I can't explain it without more time to look at hard facts, but I can't find references to the kind of training that we do, with space jumps and hand to hand combat, and the specifications of our phasers and torpedoes far outstrip yours," Uhura explains.

"Space jumps?" Scotty echoes, his forehead creasing. "We're just explorers."

"You should see their ship, Scotty," the older Kirk says.

"Now don't go saying it's better than this one or I'll think they've sent back the wrong captain, sir."

The captain just shakes his head, a small smile playing across his face.

"I wasn't going to say that. It is… whiter, though. And the bridge is bigger."

"You know what they say about ships with big bridges," Bones says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

"I am not familiar with any sayings regarding that subject," Spock interjects.

Jim looks at all of them, at the captain glancing between his CMO and first officer with a smile on his face, and the obvious ease of how the crew is together. It makes feels hot and jumpy and as much as they seems happy to be back together again, it only serves to remind him that he has his own home to get to.

"So the problem is that we have technology that helped the two of you get back, but we don't have here?" Jim asks as he puts his palms on the table. He drums his fingers against it until he catches sight of his counterpart's neatly laced hands and makes himself stop.

"If they can build it on their ship, we can build it on ours," Scotty says in a tone that dares anyone to argue with him. "Let's have it sir, what needs to be done?"

"Their active ion field transducer runs a reverse flux polarity module," the older Kirk starts.

"We'll have to boost our particle frequency stabilizer," Scotty says slowly, starting to nod.

"And allot for any disruption from the transducer by increasing the bioneural transference buffer," Spock says. "Doctor McCoy, you are able to allocate for any-"

"Bioneural transference?" Bones cuts in. "Jim, this can't be safe."

"We're here," the older man says, gesturing to himself and the other Uhura.

"But if their technology is so much-"

"It's fine, Bones."

"If we loop in a relay with the quantum replication compensator, that should offset any bioneural issues," Scotty says. "I know that transporter like the back of my hand, sir, and if we can get a lock on the bio signatures, I can feed it in and we'll be good to go."

"But we can't pick up the same signals with these sensors," Jim reminds the rooms. "How are we… No. No, no, no."

"Full body scans," Bones says, pushing his chair back from the table and rising. "It'll take a while, but it's the safest option, especially if you two don't want your atoms scrambled half in this universe and half in the next one."

"You want us to lay around in sickbay for the next four hours while everyone here gets to actually work?" Jim asks, glancing over at Uhura, who looks nothing less than pleased by the notion.

"Six hours, Jim, in all likelihood."

"Bones," he groans.

"Complain to your own doctor when you get back," Bones suggests and it's that, and only that, that gets Jim on his feet.


	7. Chapter 7

It takes closer to seven hours before Bones is satisfied he has sufficient readings on them and Jim has to pee so bad he sprints from the biobed to the head even as his stiff muscles scream in protest.

"Any updates?" he asks when he walks back in what he hopes is a much more dignified manner to find Uhura, Bones, and Scotty bent over a padd together.

"We're in good shape, lad. I mean," Scotty frowns, "sir. I'm just getting this information from the Doctor and will start uploading it."

"So we're good to go?" Jim asks, feeling hope bloom in his chest.

"In ten to twelve hours, yes," Scotty says with a nod.

"Ten to twelve hours?" Jim asks and hears his voice rise and nearly crack on the last word. He's anxious and jumpy and after laying around all day wants to go, go, go, or at least put his hands on something and work. "Is there anything else to be done in the meantime?"

"Fraid not," Scotty shrugs. "I'm going to start the uplink and then get myself a bite to eat."

"It's almost worse to be so close to going home and then be stuck here a bit longer," Jim mutters to Uhura as Scotty leaves with the padd and Bones mumbles about other important medical things he hasn't had time for, what with Jim clogging up his Sickbay.

"It is," she says and he quickly turns to look at her.

"Did you just…" he shifts to watch her more closely, crossing his arms. "Did you just agree with me?"

"Of all the people to be stuck with."

"Aw, you got lucky. Can you imagine if you were here with Bones? Bones and Bones? This Spock would have an aneurysm." She smiles tightly and he drops his head, rocking back on his heels before looking up at her again. "Sorry. No talking about Spock. Got it."

"No, it's…" she just waves one hand and then walks away, slow enough that he thinks it might be ok for him to follow her as she heads for the corridor.

"Have you thought any more about everything?" he asks and when she glances up at him, her mouth twisting and her eyebrows quirked, he quickly throws both hands up. "I'm curious, ok, but I just also want to know that you're alright."

"I'm fine."

"You just admitted you were thinking of breaking up with your boyfriend of almost four years after his planet got blown up so that he won't have to feel guilty at some as of yet unspecified time in the future when he, due to said planet blowing up and associated mess it has made in his life, makes your relationship go into a tailspin."

"First of all, I didn't say anything, you just started talking-"

"-I have good guesses, I know-"

"-And second, it's really none of your business."

"Hey, I get it, ok, but-" he hesitates, then palms open a door to an empty conference room, gesturing at her until she finally walks into it. "Look, I spent the last seven hours thinking about everything you told me-"

"-That's creepy-"

"-Because I care, Uhura, whether you want me to or not. And you're right, you and Spock are none of my business, but all that stuff about your position? Well, that is." He draws a deep breath. He's been looking forward to saying this to her for about the last five and a half hours but he's also pretty good at pushing her away while simultaneously annoying her, so he forces himself to slow down. "I think Command put you in a shit position offering you chief of comms like that. So, since they're apparently assholes, I hereby, formally, request – do you think I should get down on one knee or something? – that you, due to your qualifications and enormous genius brain and ability to keep my ego in check –"

"-I try-"

"-serve, with me, as Chief of Communications at the rank of Lieutenant."

"It's not a big deal, Kirk."

"Oh c'mon, Uhura, it's a huge deal! You think I like that I basically got handed a ship because of what amounts to a PR stunt? You worked so incredibly hard at the Academy and then to have that thrown in your face is just… not to you. They shouldn't mess with you like that, of all people."

She's frowning and crosses her arms over her chest as she watches him.

"I don't think you got your captaincy because of PR."

"Wait, what?"

"I- wow, I never thought I'd say this – you're good at what you do, Kirk."

"You think I'm a good captain?" he asks slowly, taking a step towards her. "Really?"

"Well," she hedges and it's so Uhura that he wants to laugh, even as he can't quite believe what he's hearing. "Not always, sometimes you're an idiot but… I don't think anyone else could have gotten us out of that."

"Not even Spock?"

"Maybe, I don't know. But you… you did a good job, Jim."

"Wow. We're actually being nice to each other. This is fantastic. I should take a picture or something."

"Can you take what I said seriously?"

"Um." He scrubs his palm over the back of his head. "Maybe. No. Yes." She raises both eyebrows at him in such Uhura-ish exasperation that he can't do much more than grin at her. "I can. Uh, thanks."

She presses her lips together and shakes her head, staring down at the floor between her feet and then back up at him. "I guess if we're going to work together from here on out I'm going to have to try to get along with you."

"Yeah," he nods. "Yeah. We are, aren't we? Together on the _Enterprise_? Who would have thought."

"Not me."

"Not me either," he agrees.

"And thank you," she says seriously. "I appreciate everything you said."

"Good. And," he says, spreading out his hands, palm up, "I spent hours three, four and five thinking about the fact that I need to apologize to Spock about Gaila and about his mother, but I'm going to apologize to you about it, first, for practice."

"You are?"

"I am. And then you're going to get everything off you chest about Spock. Or everything that you want to talk about, which might be nothing and that's fine."

"I am?"

"You are. And then, we're going to figure out how to get him back."

"We are?"

"Do you listen, Uhura? We are."

"Alright," she says softly.

Jim pulls out a chair and rolls it across the floor to her before hooking an ankle around another one and pulling it under him.

"Tell me about Spock and Gaila so that I know how badly I messed up."

"You messed up even if they weren't friends."

"Sure," Jim nods, trying to push down the part of himself that's already fishing for a quick explanation. He spent hour six promising himself that he could, probably, get through a conversation with her without excuses and intends to make good on that. "But if she was friends with Spock then I need all the deets, so that if we ever convince him to come back to the ship, I can be friends with him, too."

"Are you sure you won't just follow him around like you attached yourself to McCoy and then to me?"

"I have a two for two success rate. You have to admit it's an excellent strategy.

"You are ridiculous."

"So is the idea of a friendship between a Vulcan and an Orion. Go."

Uhura squeezes her eyes shut but Jim swears he sees a smile in there somewhere.

"Fine. Spock and her were… she just adored him and I think he would have done anything for her." Nyota actually does start to smile, her focus somewhere that has nothing to do with Jim. "She was dying to be on the _Farragut_ since she joined up to do humanitarian work and that's their main mission parameters. He introduced her to Captain Steiger and wrote her a recommendation, and when we left for Vulcan, he did a lot of the last minute assignments for our cadet class and assigned her to their engineering department. She was so excited, you know? And not just because that's the posting she wanted, but because Spock helped her get it and she just loved that he took her seriously when so many people didn't."

"She was great," Jim says softly and Uhura nods, her eyes slightly wetter than before. In the silence that follows, Jim lets the knowledge of Gaila and Spock's friendship roll around in his head, and what little he knows about Spock. "Let me guess, it was logical to assign her that position and yet it was that very logic that led to her being on board?"

"You're freakily good at figuring people out."

"I have my talents," Jim says and then spends a long time looking away while Uhura drags her thumbs under her eyes. "I wasn't thinking, Uhura, about the subroutine or what it would do to Gaila."

"That much was obvious."

"I need you to yell at me if I'm about to do that again."

"I'll sign up for that," she laughs thickly.

"And all that about Spock's mom… it was so in the moment and it seemed like the quickest means to an end." Jim drapes his forearms over his thighs, leaning forward to stare at the floor between his boots. "I can't always promise I'll do the right thing in the heat of the moment, not if lives depend on it."

"Still."

"I haven't apologized to him and I will, regardless," Jim promises her. "Even if I have to get this fancy comms officer I know to send a message to New Vulcan."

"God, Kirk, just hit 'send'. It's not that hard," she sighs but she's definitely smiling, even though there are still tear tracks on her face.

"We good?" he asks. "Cause I don't want to potentially be stuck here with you for the rest of my life if you hate me."

"We're good. Or we will be," she nods and he nods back, wanting to reach for her but not quite sure that's allowed yet. "And I really hope we're not stuck here."

"Me, too," he says, his voice quiet. It's hard to think about that possibility but Jim isn't exactly giving up hope yet, not with tomorrow morning's attempt to get them home closer with every second that ticks by.

They're silent for a long time, Uhura occasionally wiping at her eyes and Jim studying his dangling hands.

"It's weird to think that Vulcan's out there," Uhura finally says. "Spock's mom, Gaila, everyone. All those ships."

"They got lucky in this universe," Jim agrees. "Wonder if it's all the same? Like why don't we have Chapel? And what about Keenser? What if they never even joined the Fleet? Or even if Gaila didn't?"

"If she didn't, and if we're stuck here, I'm going to go get her."

"Think she wants to be got?"

"Did she ever tell you about where she came from?"

"No."

"She wants to be got, Jim."

"If we're stuck here, I'll come with you," he says quietly. "Uhura, you're kind of incredible, you know."

She half smiles. "I do know that."

"If we're stuck here, does that mean I have to have sex with Spock?"

"First of all, I think that's pretty much covered in this universe. Second, don't knock it till you've tried it."

"Oh, gross, Uhura, c'mon." Jim shudders then can't resist giving her a grin. "Though, you know-"

"Oh god, Kirk-"

"-You don't even know what I-"

"-You are as transparent as Argellian glass."

He crosses his arms and leans back in his chair, letting a grin spread across his face. "What was I going to say?"

"I'm not going to say it out loud."

"Uhura, you totally want to have a threesome with me and Spock! I can't believe it! Oh my god!"

"Kirk!"

He laughs and nudges her leg with his foot. "Just say the word."

"I hate you."

"I am so glad that you're who I'm stuck with."

"We had better get home," she mutters.

He's playing with fire, but toes her again and is relieved when she just narrows her eyes at him, considering other reactions from her that are salient possibilities.

"We'll get home."

"Promise?"

"I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

At dinner that night, Jim's busy not eating and dragging his finger through the condensation left on the table by his water glass when a tray hits the table across from him and he jerks his head up at the sudden intrusion on his racing thoughts.

He offers a quick nod to… himself as the older man takes a seat and digs into his chicken sandwich.

"Nice," he says, swallowing a mouthful and nodding to Jim's identical choice, untouched on his own plate.

"Old favorite," he offers, trying for a grin and reaching for his own sandwich. He drags the corner of it through a pool of ranch dressing, frowning at the older man when he does the same with ketchup. "Better with ranch, you know."

"Guess not all things are the same," the captain says and Jim takes a bite so he doesn't have to come up with a response quite yet.

Across the mess, he sees Uhura walk in, her hair half down so that it swings across her back as she scans the tables and he raises his hand to her when. She catches his eye and then gestures to where the other Uhura is sitting. He shoots her a nod and watches, chewing, while she gets a bowl of soup and sits with the other woman.

"What'd you think they're talking about?" the older Kirk asks and Jim brings his gaze back to meet the hazel eyes that are staring at him.

"Klingon morphemes?" he hedges, not voicing what he's actually thinking, that with the hesitant way the women start speaking, and then the way they both lean into the conversation, their hands starting to gesture even though they keep their voices too quiet to be overheard, he would put money on some serious gossip about Spock happening at that table.

His other self probably knows that, Jim thinks, because he spares them another glance and then smears more ketchup on his sandwich.

"So," he starts and Jim nods.

"So."

"You're captain," the other man says and Jim swallows the chicken that suddenly feels like glue in his mouth.

"Yep."

"And you're… twenty five? Is that right?"

"Yeah," Jim nods, taking a long drink of water to unstick his throat. He draws on the memory of Uhura telling him he'd be alright as captain and sets his glass down firmly. "I am."

"Well then," the other man says and then doesn't follow that with another thought, just takes a bite of his sandwich.

"How's everything back where I'm from?" Jim finally asks.

"Bit crazy around there these days."

"It is."

"Heard you did some good work."

"I uh…" Jim adjusts the top piece of bread on his sandwich which is threatening to start sliding around. "Everyone did."

"Good crew we've got," the older man says and Jim glances up from his sandwich to see him smiling.

"One of the best."

"It is. And as for your Spock," the captain starts and Jim waves him off before he can continue.

"Yeah, not exactly the same-"

"Got that," the older man says quickly and as much as Jim wants to duck and hide from the conversation he would also pay good money to learn how the older man found that out. Maybe Bones'll tell him, if he ever sees Bones again.

"I meant that he's not even there. He left Starfleet," Jim says, mashing his sandwich into the rapidly diminishing puddle of dressing. "Guess I'll have to find my own ace first officer." He squints at the bite he's about to take. "Sulu, maybe? You've worked with him, he seems like he'd be good, right?"

"Spock didn't leave Starfleet," the captain says with a smile.

"I saw his resignation myself."

"I know. I went and got him back."

"You- what?"

The older Jim just nods, a grin pulling at his mouth.

"After I learned everything that happened… well, I know him pretty well, even a different version of him. Found him sitting with a half-packed suitcase and a serious amount of confusion after talking with an old friend of mine."

"You saw the other, other Spock too?" Jim asks, dropping his sandwich on his plate and leaning forward.

"My old friend," the captain says, his voice full of warmth. "Old, old friend, let me tell you."

"What was that like?" Jim asks.

The other Kirk pauses for a moment before something in his expression closes. "Private."

"But you're me! How can it be private from myself?"

"You'll understand someday," the older man offers.

"Is he coming back through this way?" Jim asks.

"No," the other Jim sighs, setting his own sandwich down. "We have a Spock – him in fact. He's going to stay. He feels he has work to do there, ways to be helpful."

"With the new colony," Jim says quietly.

"Exactly. He's taking your Spock's place there so that he can come back to Starfleet and serve as your first officer."

"Spock doesn't want to do that," Jim says quickly. "He doesn't like me, we're not friends."

"I convinced him – I think – to give you a chance." The older man's eyes dart across the mess hall to the two Uhuras and back again. "And he does want to come back to the ship. Trust me, I have an idea about how the man feels for those he cares about."

"Is that weird for you?" Jim asks, following his gaze to the two women who are in deep conversation, identical shy smiles stretching across their faces.

"Private," the older man says again. "My point was that you'll find a Commander Spock who is rather willing to apply for the first officer position, if you'll have him."

"I'm guessing that all universes point to him being the best for the job."

The older man grins and nods. "I left him with a letter of reference, which got me quite the eyebrow, but should mitigate any concerns on your behalf."

"You left an alternate version of your own first officer with a character reference?" Jim asks. "Can you even do that?"

The captain shrugs. "You'll find, as Bones has already pointed out to me, that you and I share a certain predilection for doing what we want to." Jim feels a warm grip on his wrist and looks down at a hand that is much more worn than his own on the cuff of his sleeve, right over the captain's stripes. "And hey, if I was twenty five an offered a starship, I'd take it too, but that wouldn't mean that I wasn't nervous."

"I'm fine," Jim says quickly.

"It also would mean that I was probably way too young and an idiot and a lot of other words you'll hear Bones throw around over the next few years. Be careful out there with that crew of ours, they're counting on you."

"I will," he says, a knot forming in his stomach.

"You'll be fine," the older man says, giving his wrist a squeeze. "And Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of Spock for me."

Jim looks up into earnest hazel eyes, blinking at them before nodding. "I will," he says again.

"Both of them. Your Spock has a crew to get to know, and he doesn't know it yet, but they'll be his family. Your family, too. But…"

The older man trails off and Jim thinks of the bent weight of the older Spock.

"I promise," he says softly.

"Good," the captain says, his hand falling from Jim's wrist. "Well, you're ten years younger so you understand this even better."

"Understand what?"

"Spock's off duty," the older man says with a grin that Jim knows he's thrown at Bones a hundred times, in a hundred different bars as he heads off after a hundred different men, women, humans and non-Terrans alike.

"Night," he offers weakly, waiting until the captain has left the mess to rub at his forehead and wonder, not for the first time, why Bones puts up with him.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Jim can barely choke down his coffee he's so nervous.

"Ready?" he asks Uhura, arriving at her door a half hour early to find her completely dressed.

"I am."

Jim nods tightly and looking at her, he doesn't think he was the only one up most of the night.

"This'll work," he tells her.

"Of course it will," she answers, sounding just as certain as he is, which is not very.

They walk away from her borrowed quarters and down the hall, the silence stretching between them until it begins to grate at him.

"So, you and the other Uhura," he starts.

"I'm going to make you a list of things that you can ask me about."

"And your conversation last night is on it?"

"In no universe is it on that list."

"Did you guys have, like, the same boyfriends?"

"Not talking about it, Kirk."

"I should have asked the other me about this one night when I was-"

Uhura smoothly walks through the doors to the transporter room so that he quickly cuts himself off before he can finish that sentence, even as the assembled crew turns towards them as they enter.

The older him is there, along with Spock, Bones, Chekov, Sulu and Scotty.

"Let's roll," he suggests into the silence that meets their entrance.

"You alright?" Bones asks, stepping towards him.

"Yeah, yeah, glad to be on the way home," he says quickly, jogging up to the transporter pad. "Nice to meet you all, of course."

"Anything we need to know?" Uhura asks, following far more sedately. She, too, takes her place and turns to the room.

"We should be all set," Scotty assures them. "Everything checks out."

"Should be?" Bones asks and Jim wishes he hadn't voiced that.

Jim tries very hard to not look at Uhura, but he does anyway and meets her wide gaze.

He thinks maybe there should be some… something to do or say before they either beam home or end up scattered across the cosmos if it doesn't go according to plan, but in the end he can't think of anything.

"Thanks for having us," Uhura says from beside him and Jim thinks he's pretty damn lucky to have her around if she can remember manners at a time like this.

"Yeah, thanks," he offers, then trades one last glance with her and nods to Scotty. "Energize."

There's the warm, golden glow of the transporter and the peculiar tickle, down deep inside him like an itch he wants to scratch but can't quite reach.

As the room resolves around him again, his first thought is that at least Scotty's calculations didn't end put them in a cold vacuum, or halfway between the two universes.

His second thought is that it also didn't get them home.

"Still too many Jims," Bones says, folding his arms across his chest. "What happened."

"Not quite sure, sir," Scotty mumbles, his fingers frantically dancing over his console.

"You're sure this is safe?" Bones asks and towards Scotty. "If you miscalculated-"

"We did not miscalculate." Spock's tone is firm and Bones turns to look at him. "Perhaps it was the bioneural-"

"It was not." Bones' voice is just as hard. "That wouldn't turn them up in this universe again, would it?"

"Will doing it again put them in any danger, Mr. Scott?" the older Jim asks.

"It's hard to say, sir, without knowing what the problem is."

"This is quite peculiar," Spock murmurs as he crosses to stand next to Scotty at the console.

"Should we-?" Jim asks, gesturing down on the pad. He doesn't exactly relish the notion of stepping off of it, not when those steps down the stairs should be him on his own ship, not on this one that belongs to the man who looks like him ten years from now and is surrounded by a crew already seamlessly working together to solve the matter at hand.

Uhura moves forward first and Jim finally follows her. He tries to listen to the snippets of conversation flowing back and forth between the older him, Spock, Uhura, Scotty, and occasionally Chekov and Sulu and Bones, but it's nearly too fast for him to follow and the dread welling up in him threatens to drown it out anyway.

"It'll be fine," he says to his Uhura, but when he takes in her dark eyes and set jaw, he's not sure she believes him. Hell, he barely believes himself.

"I hope so," she answers him quietly and he's reminded of her steely resolve that he's seen so many times over the year, tempered this time only by the way her lips quirk slightly. Jim knows any traces of fear on her face are reflected on his, probably twice over.

As the crew's voices rise and fall and Jim catches up with the conversation well enough that he's about to enter the fray with a few ideas of his own, the room starts to glow gold again.

"Going again?" he asks, pointing at the shimmering pad.

Scotty's voice rises above the others.. "Sir, it's that same signal as when you came back, with different bio-signatures this time, and they're…"

"They're what, Scotty?" the older Kirk asks, his hand gripping the top of the transporter console.

"Well, they're still familiar. I'd recognize that reading anywhere, sir," Scotty says slowly, pointing to a locked target.

"Where are the signals coming from?" Bones asks, his voice rising as the forms start to solidify. "Who's bio signatures are they?"

Scotty's voice is soft. "They're…"

There's a long silence as the gold flare fades and five men are left standing on the transporter pad.

"Us," Bones finally says as everyone just stares around them for a long second. The whine of the transporter fades again so that it's just quiet breathing and the slight rustle of uniform fabric as Scotty shifts back and forth on his feet behind the controls.

"Well that's not a sight you see everyday," Scotty finally offers and one of the men in the back nods in agreement.

"Aye, it's not. Lovely ship you've got here, though."

"Thanks," the older Kirk and the Scotty standing next to Jim both say, even as one of the two men in blue shirts on the transporter pad crosses his arms and eyes everyone gathered in the room.

"Two Spocks," Jim's Bones grumbles, shaking his head and widening his stance like he needs all the balance he can get to live through this. "So help me."

"Consider it double the chances you'll get back home safe and sound," the older Kirk says with a small smile.

"Rather," the Spock next to him corrects, "while the number of us has doubled, that does not mean a corresponding proportional increase in the-"

"Good job, Jim," Jim's Bones mutters, stepping down of the pad and walking towards him to give him a heavy slap on the shoulder.

"I didn't do anything!" Jim exclaims, holding up both hands in surrender.

"Nice to see you all again," the older Jim says politely. "Welcome aboard."

One by one, Jim's crew steps off the transporter padd, curiously looking around themselves at their older, mirror images. All except Spock, that is, who ignores everyone in the room except Uhura.

"How exactly did we end up here?" Jim's Scotty says, looking around the transporter room. "I was in Engineering and suddenly I'm being beamed."

"I was in my quarters," Chekov offers and Sulu nods.

"I was in the gym."

"I probably have half a box of hyposprays scattered across Sickbay right now," Bones grumbles. "And those things don't come cheap these days, let me tell you."

"I didn't know… I wasn't sure you'd be on board," Jim says quietly to him. "Weren't you planetside? Are you… back?"

"Someone had to sort out this mess, I couldn't have you – granted an older, more responsible you- running all over probably about to trip and fall and break his neck."

"Thanks," Jim says and Bones glances down at him and gives him a short, sharp nod. Jim clears his throat when he notices the other Bones watching them and takes a step away.

"This room is too small," the older Bones says loudly, cutting through the chatter. Everyone pauses, from Spock and Uhura who are bent towards each other like nobody else around, to Sulu and… Sulu who Jim really hopes are talking about swords, and the two Chekovs talking excitedly with the other Uhura, who's looking back and forth between them with a grin spreading over her face. Beyond all that, the Scottys are pointing at various blinking lights on the consoles and the other Spock and Kirk have their heads together, their eyes bright as they talk.

"Conference room," Jim and the other Jim say at the same time.

"The two of you give me a headache," Bones mutters next to him and Jim grabs his elbow, jostling it as they reach the corridor.

"You're really back?" he asks, gripping his friend tighter. "For good?"

"You got Uhura to stick around, might as well join the party."

"Yeah, she and I are best friends now."

"Well, maybe she'll explain why Spock showed up, in uniform and doing temporal vector equations in that big head of his to send the other you and the other Uhura back here."

Jim glances back to see Spock and Uhura a few paces behind the group. Spock has his hands behind his back and Uhura looks uncertain, but the way they lean towards each other is unmistakable.

"It'd be too bad if in my rampant disorganization, I lost his resignation," Jim muses.

"Too bad? It's probably already likely," Bones huffs but Jim feels his chuckle through the hand he still has on the other man's arm.

"Things are shaping up, Bones," Jim says, dragging his hand away, though he can't resist clapping Bones' shoulder.

"Jim, we're trapped in an alternate reality!"

"I assure you, we are working to remedy that," the older Spock says, activating the doors to the conference and leading the group inside.

The room is much fuller this time than it was yesterday, with every chair filled and a flurry of glances around at each other, waiting for someone to throw out a solution.

"Mr. Scott, report," the other Jim finally says.

"Aye, well-"

"Sir, I-"

Both Scottys pause and turn towards each other until the older captain points at the older Scotty and nods to him.

"Sir," he starts, glancing around the room. "It seems there was some interference."

"I have ordered a sensor sweep of the ship," the older Spock says and Jim wonders when he possibly had time for that. "As of yet, no anomalies reported."

The other Jim nods slowly, his eyes scanning the assembled crew.

"Any equipment malfunctions?"

"Only the basic repairs we're already undertaking," Scotty says, slowly shaking his head. "Nothing out of the ordinary there."

"And on our side?" Jim cuts in.

"We were just sitting there while the building crews worked," Sulu reports.

"Aye," Jim's Scotty adds. "We sent the other two back and then… nothing happened. So we waited."

"And waited," Bones says. "Chekov did a-"

"-antimatter variance scan," Chekov says leaning his forearms on the edge of the table and he looks around at everyone. "But it did not return any data."

"We figured you'd be back," Bones shrugs, turning in his chair to look at Jim beside him. "If we could get them home-"

"There must be an inconsistency on this end," the younger Spock says, the first words Jim's heard him speak since he got there. "We inferred that due to the overarching similarities in the timelines-"

"-We would find the same means to return your captain and lieutenant to you," the older Spock finishes.

"Precisely."

"And yet," the older Jim says, his hands spread on the table. "You're all here."

Beside Jim, Bones shifts in his chair, then cuts into the conversation. "For now. Can I just ask what type of life ended paradoxes we might be incurring with this little meet-up? Isn't this a little… dangerous to all be chumming it up like this?"

"If it effected our continued existence, that would have been apparent when the exchange between the two universes occurred," Jim's Spock says. "As such, we can infer that regardless of our interaction, whatever events occurred that led to the formation of our own reality will occur again."

A silence follows his words, in which everyone looks at him and then quickly finds something else to look at, and Jim knows there's a shared thought around the table regarding the lack of opportunity to somehow fix what Nero did in Jim's own timeline.

It's a hard question to answer: if faced with the opportunity, would they give up the lives they've lived for the last twenty five years, laced as they were with the small changes that make their universe different, in exchange for the lives of countless Vulcans, not to mention the losses Starfleet suffered.

Nobody moves to answer that thought, nor voice it, which is probably logical or something since they can't do anything about it, but it still leaves Jim with a nagging feeling in his gut.

"Well if that's settled," the older Kirk finally says into the silence. "We spent yesterday boosting our particle frequency stabilizer and increasing the bioneural transference buffer."

"We successful relayed the quantum replication compensator as well," the older Spock says, seamlessly picking up where the captain stopped speaking in a way that makes Jim glance at his own Spock and at his science blues he's wearing and wonders if he's really back, and if he is if they'll ever grow to have that camaraderie and familiarity their older counterparts have, and which Jim felt the mission against Nero only stirred the very first hint of.

Maybe not exactly the same way, Jim allows, watching how Uhura keeps looking at Spock as if she can't quite believe he's there and Spock more than once looks back at her. Jim would put money on the fact their hands are touching under the table, which makes him grin a little.

He's about to elbow Bones and point it out to him, since the doctor is slumped in his chair so that his shoulder keeps brushing Jim's when he notices that the older Uhura is leaning across the table and whisper to her counterpart.

"Lieutenants?" the older Kirk asks abruptly.

"There's audible interference," they say as one, both sitting back in their seats.

"It's not normal for this ship, sir, and I've only just noticed it but there's a distinctive…" the older Uhura starts.

"Thrum, almost, or a whine. I though it was normal the whole time I was here," the younger Uhura continues and then glances up at Spock next to her and then across the table at the other Spock.

"It is discernable," Jim's Spock says with a slow nod.

"It has been on going for some time," the other Spock says with the same, slow nod. "It began-"

"When we got here?" Jim guesses. He rubs his thumb and forefinger across his forehead, trying to scrape his memory for any clue as to- "Chekov!"

"Sir," the both answer.

Jim points to them, looking back and forth between the two Russians. "You came by my – his – quarters right before everything got funny and that yeoman brought me dinner."

"Fancy," Bones mutters next to him and Jim kicks at his ankle under the table.

"I did," the older one nods.

"I did not," the younger one confirms.

"You came with a report of the-"

"Starboard isolinear phase actuator-"

"-Aye, which blew a fuse and I sent Chekov running-" the older Scotty says.

"-We had ours repaired ahead of schedule-" the younger Scotty adds, excitedly palming the table.

"-And distortion from the actuator-" the young Spock says.

"-Would render the transducer unreadable-" the other Spock adds.

"-Which would throw off our calculations," the older Kirk finishes. "Scotty?"

"On it," they both say, jumping to their feet.

"We need to recalibrate the particle frequency stabilizer," the younger Chekov points out. "I can help do that."

"The compensator needs to be fixed as well," Jim's Sulu points out from next to him.

"We'll give you a hand," the other Sulu offers, clapping his Chekov on the shoulder.

"Just tell me there's no need for more bioneural scans?" Jim asks, glancing between the two Bones and when they make eye contact and shrug at each other, he feels his stomach sink.

"Couldn't hurt to make sure the readings aren't degraded with this delay."

"God knows we don't need Jim scrambled across the cosmos."

"Don't know what problems that'll spell."

"Really only makes sense to check his current readings against the ones we have."

"Sit still, Jim," he's instructed and both doctors stand over him, tricorders humming.

"Really?" he asks, staring up at them. He just gets two identical looks back and glowers at both of them.

"Sit still," he hears again and wants to slouch in his seat, but the older him is sitting like the paragon of captaincy and professionalism, so he pushes down that urge.

Instead, he looks around the room at Spock and Uhura turning towards each other, their heads bent together as they speak quietly enough Jim can't hear, and the other Jim and the other Spock doing nearly the same thing with only slightly more distance between them.

"You guys have the inter-system Parrises Squares championships going on? Cause my bet's on Argel IV, though I'm thinking Rigel Prime might just make it to the finals," he says for something to break the silence, the only other sound in the room beyond quiet conversation being the older Uhura tapping at her padd.

"The Argellians haven't won in-" the older Bones starts and then cuts himself off, frowning.

"Ten years?" Jim hedges. He elbows his own Bones. "C'mon, told you we should've pooled our credits. Saurian brandy and something for Joanna."

Bones just scowls at him, but the older doctor's head comes up quite suddenly.

"Joanna?"

"Yeah, I have a four year old," Bones says, his eyes cutting away in that way he has whenever he talks about his daughter, like it's almost too much for him to bear and Jim immediately regrets the easy way in which he threw that out there.

"Bones-"

"Four year old?" the older doctor says with that same look on his face. "Try fourteen."

"Fourteen?" Bones asks and Jim doesn't think he's imagining the way that his voice nearly squeaks.

"Boyfriend."

"My god," Bones breathes. "Really?"

"Should I lock up the armory when we get back?" Jim asks, craning his neck to look up at the two men wearing identical scowls.

Bones is spared from answering by loud voices in the hall, a rush of Scottish accents and rapid Russian and both Scotty file back in, their hands waving followed by both Chekovs, their cheeks flushed and eyes bright. After them comes Jim's Sulu as well as the older one, talking quickly in a way that makes Jim think it should be all together weirder to be meeting their own, oder selves. He chalks it up as a harbinger of good things to come; if he's to ship out with these people into the unexplored and find even stranger things than their own counterparts, then everyone's equanimity in this situation must be a positive sign.

"Ready?" he asks, jonesing to be back home and stepping into that future as soon as he can.

"Aye, sir," the other Scotty answers. "Twice as fast with double the hands."

It's a loud walk back to the transporter room, so different from the walk to the conference room since this time, Jim can feel the hope that buoys them forward.

"Let's do this," he says, rubbing his hands together as they gather at the base of the pad. He pauses, looking around at everyone, both his younger crew and the older one, everyone shaking hands and tossing out farewells and nice-to-meet-yous.

Watching them, Jim feels someone come up behind him and turns to take in the all too familiar sight of his own face.

"Ready?" the older him asks.

"As always," Jim grins.

The other man gestures with his chin at the two Spocks who are stepping apart, one retreating to the back of the transporter room and the other stepping onto the pad.

"I remember," Jim says softly, thinking of the man this Spock will live to be. "And I promise."

Jim watches his older self smile and then feels the heavy weight of his hand on his shoulder. "Remember every minute of it," he says, mirroring Jim's own soft voice. "It's already going by too fast, and they're too important to not appreciate this time you have with them."

As he looks around at his crew, Jim feels his throat tighten.

"I… yeah. I will. And hey- thanks."

The older version of him smiles and steps back to stand with his own Spock, a small smile crossing his face.

"Good luck out there, Captain."

"You too," Jim offers in return, the words blooming bright and warm in him.

He's the first one up on the pad and the others join him slowly. Chekov and Sulu shake hands with their counterparts with quick grins and a laugh or two and then they're beside him. The Uhuras hug goodbye, the older woman holding Jim's Uhura at arm's length for a moment before Jim hears her softly say "good luck" and the younger woman nods, her eyes bright.

Right then, he feels a heavy hand on his shoulder and looks at the other Bones standing next to him.

"You hate these things," he points out.

"I do," Bones says softly, his tone much softer and less gruff than Jim hears from his younger self on most occasions. "You take care of yourself. Don't make him worry."

"I won't," Jim promises, and at the doctor's look, he tosses him a grin and amends, "I'll try not to."

Both doctors just shake their heads at him and Jim nearly laughs before his attention is caught by the two Spocks. Any trace of mirth dies inside of him as he watches the two men stand stock still, hands identically clasped behinds their backs as they look at each other for a long moment.

"I grieve with thee," Jim hears the older Spock finally say to the younger one.

"Live long and prosper," Jim's Spock says after a heavy pause, holding his hand up in the _ta'al._

"Peace and long life," the other Spock responds. "As much as you are able, under the circumstances."

They stand like that, neither of them moving until Uhura steps forward and takes Spock's hand in hers.

Nobody says anything but Spock allows himself to be led onto the pad. Most of both crews find somewhere to look other than the two of them or the older Spock stepping closer to the older Jim.

"Good to go?" Scotty finally asks from behind the transporter controls.

"Wish we could have stayed for more of a tour," Jim's Scotty says.

"Ready to go," Bones declares. "You've got your own ship waiting for you."

"And a fine ship she is," Scotty grins. "I'll be glad to be getting back to her."

"Me too, Scotty," Jim agrees, looking around at the older crew, all of them standing there shoulder to shoulder. He glances at his own crew, then locks eyes with the older version of himself, who gives him a quick nod. "Energize," he says as firmly as he can, feeling a swell of calm and confidence from his counterpoint's gaze, even as he feels the transporter lock onto him.

He holds his breath the entire time he's in the transporter beam, willing the right world to resolve around him this time and he only lets it out again when he comes face to face with a shining, overly white transporter room and Keenser perched on a tall stool at the controls.

His laugh is shaky as he jogs down off the platform and turns to face his crew who are still looking around them, taking their bearings.

"Well, then," he says with a grin, taking in the sight of each and every one of them. "Welcome home."


	10. Epilogue

Jim juggles three bottles of nail polish, a bottle of white wine, and a holovid of a movie he has on good intel from Sulu that girls love.

When she finally answers her door, Uhura leans against it and eyes him warily. "What is it that you think I do in my spare time?"

"Spock?" Jim asks before he can stop himself, and then grins at her audible groan, coupled with an eye roll the likes of which he hasn't seen since before all the crap with Nero. "Or should I have brought a dictionary maybe? C'mon, let me in, you can braid my hair."

"I have work," she corrects. "As do you, I believe."

"Yeah, but we're friends now. And I have a chocolate bar in my pocket which is going to melt and make a mess and I don't want to answer to the quartermaster why I ruined another uniform."

"I can't believe you're a captain," she sighs as she steps aside and lets him in.

"Your captain," he reminds her, the words warming his chest. "And we're three days at warp six from Earth, so you're totally stuck with me at this point."

"I still can't believe it," she repeats, but is reaching for the bottle of wine he brought so he counts the entire night as a success already.

She's sitting on her bed and he's in her chair again, this time their hands wrapped around sweating glasses of wine and she's already declared the chocolate bar her sole property when he finally brings up what brought him there.

"So, I… I wasn't kidding about wanting to be friends with Spock," he starts. "And now that we're back from all that I just wanted to make sure that wasn't going to be weird for you or anything. With all the… him and me in that other reality."

She takes a long sip of her wine, lifting one shoulder as she lowers the glass and swallows.

"It's kind of strange to find out your boyfriend has a different boyfriend."

"Yeah, I get that."

"You two work really well together," Uhura hedges. "And as I said before, I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that you will develop something akin to what the other you and Spock had."

"Well, look, I hope so. But I don't think that means that this universe has to become exactly like the other one. I think there's some wiggle room when it comes to grand, cosmic destinies."

"You turn into a theoretical temporal physicist?"

"Maybe," he grins, curling his hands around his glass. "But you two are good, right?"

"Yeah."

"Really 'yeah' or I'm Lieutenant Uhura and I'm fine and everything's fine and don't talk to me this is all fine type of 'yeah'."

"You drive me nuts, Kirk."

"Remember that time you called me Jim?"

"Nuts," she says slowly, enunciating the word.

"We're like best friends for life now, so I know you love me."

She sighs which just makes him laugh and she tips her head back, shaking her head at the ceiling.

"I don't want to talk about my relationship with Spock with you," she finally says after she's had a long sip of wine that drains half of her glass.

"Ok," he says, pressing his lips together and nodding.

"It's too complicated with all of us working together and besides, you two need to sort your own stuff out."

"No, I get it, that makes sense."

"But."

"But?"

"I will say that I think it's going to be tough for us for a while," she says quietly, smoothing her hand over her thighs until the fabric of her skirt is perfectly flat.

"I think it's going to be tough for all of us," he says gently. "We've all lost a lot, and we all got thrown into this, but you know what?"

"What?" she asks and he counts it as a victory that her voice is soft and not as challenging as it used to be when she was around him.

"It turns out that what my future holds is me being an absolutely brilliant captain –"

"-Same sized ego, though, I'm guessing-"

"-And it also holds our crew growing to be best friends with each other."

She nods but doesn't look up from where she's staring into her wine glass.

"You miss Gaila," he guesses and she glances up only to frown at him.

"It's creepy when you do that."

"You just hate that I'm always right."

"That is one of the things I hate about you."

"That is one of the things I hate about you, sir."

"That is one of the things I hate about you, Jim," she corrects. "And where did you get this chocolate?"

"I am a Starfleet captain," he starts, glossing over what she just said since he decides that pointing out she just used his first name might be the best way to ensure it never happens again. "I have untold resources available at the press of a-"

"Where?" she repeats.

"Scotty," Jim answers with a rueful grin. "That man is a freaking genius at replicators. You should see this sandwich he made me for lunch."

"This is replicated? It's so good."

"I know, right? The wine is, too. But don't let his secret get out or our first officer will find out about all the… enhancements."

Uhura glances at her wine glass, then at the chocolate bar in her hand, and then finally back at Jim.

"He's a stickler," she admits.

"Totally."

Jim's in the middle of pouring them more wine when she says, "you talked to him. About his mom and Gaila."

"You two talking behind my back?" Jim asks and when she just looks at him, he puts down the bottle and gives her a small shrug. "Yeah, I talked to him."

"How was that?"

"Well," Jim starts, rubbing his hand over the back of his head. "He alternated between not saying much and not saying anything."

"Still."

"Still," Jim agrees.

"I'm glad you did that. Thank you."

"You were right that I needed to," Jim admits, squinting at his glass. "Not my favorite conversation I've ever had, that's for sure. He's a tough one."

"He is," Uhura nods. "But he's worth the effort."

"Effort? Effort, Uhura, is you. Is it going to take me three years to become friends with Spock?"

"If it does, do I have to hear about it the whole time?"

"Um, yes."

"Then let's hope not," she answers.

Jim sets his wineglass down so that he can rub his hands together. "Ok, then I'm going to need like instruction manuals and blueprints and a how to guide and probably a trouble shooting hotline and I hear you're qualified for all of that, complete with technical support in thirty different languages."

"I thought you were a Starfleet captain with-"

"-Exactly, untold resources. You being one of the best ones."

"Now you're just resorting to flattery to try to get me to help you," she says, but she's smiling.

"Yes I am, but it doesn't make it less true," Jim says, returning her smile.

"You know, I'd tell you that you can't just make someone be your friend…"

"But I don't believe in no win scenarios, etcetera etcetera. Now help me come up with a game plan to convince Spock that our destiny mandated friendship should start ASAP. I have you and Bones checked off the list-"

"First, you're incorrigible. Second, there's a list?"

"Not my fault you find your newest best friend incorrigible. And yes there's a list. Why have one best friend when you can have two, and why have two when you can have three?"

"You do aim high," she says, laughing and shaking her head.

"C'mon, the four of us gallivanting across the galaxy. What could possibly be better?"

She laughs again instead of answering but Jim thinks that's just fine, because he can't come up with anything better, either.


End file.
